Then I was going to finally blog about the Labor Day Mackinac Bridge Walk, and the comedy of errors that turned out to be. Or the fantastic time Lou and Single Son and I had during our too brief visit after the walk. And suddenly I can't ... at least not today.
Mom called me early this morning. As soon as I heard her voice I knew something was wrong. Very wrong.
My cousin, DMcB, committed suicide sometime either last night or very early this morning. I have no details. I don't need details. All I know is DMcB leaves behind three beautiful children and a very loving husband.
My heart breaks for them. TMac, her daughter, just graduated from high school. Had a whole future to look forward to. The little boys, ages 7 and 9 (I believe) are now motherless.
Of all of my family members, I thought that DMcB was the one who really had the perfect life, a loving husband, three beautiful children, a beautiful home, everything. She was very loving, very much a doting mother. Her smile lit up a room, her laughter was contagious. She radiated love, patience and gentleness.
Come to find out, she's had a long history of mental illness. Depression. She had turned down help time and time again. We'll never know why.
And I cry for those beautiful children.
Here she's holding my grandson, Butterball. This was Christmas 2009.
RIP, Cousin. You will be missed.
I am so sorry for your loss and feel horribly for her children. Having suffered from depression for many years, it is a monster that eats you up from the inside out. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and hope that you can find some peace in all of this. {{HUGS}}
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear....
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ice and Amy.
ReplyDeleteI am adding you, Ice, to my prayers that your depression is under control and that you're dealing well with it.
Your thoughts and prayers are much needed and appreciated at this time. This isn't the first suicide in the family, my brother being the first in 1993.
You're so right, Ice, it's a monster that eats you from the inside out. I know it wasn't her that ended her life, it was this monster that consumed her as it consumed my brother.
It took me a decade to come to terms with my brother's suicide through the help of some wonderful people (many of which I'm still friends with). I pray that her mother, siblings, husband and children reach out for help to deal with their pain and don't bottle it up inside.
Add, too, special prayers for her husband. I'm finding out information that if she did indeed use his service weapon (he's a cop) that HE could be charged with a felony that could land him in jail for the next ten years. Those poor babies just lost their mother, they don't need to lose their father, too!
Lisa, I am so sorry for your loss. Its hard to find the words to express or console over something like that. I wish you and your family peace and healing and comfort. May the Lord burst the windows of Heaven open wide to give you and yours a double portion of his goodness. You have certainly been through a lot my friend. Hugs to you and my wishes and prayers for your comfort. Love, Dana xox
ReplyDeleteDana, thank you. No words are needed, really. Your wishes, and prayers are most welcomed. Thank you, friend.
ReplyDelete(((((hugs))))) I have no idea what to say except that I'm so sorry that you are going through this....
ReplyDeleteEm, words are really unnecessary, that you're here offering your support is more than enough.
ReplyDeleteI certainly hope this does not impact her spouse and his career. This poor family has been through enough. I had a cousin who attempted suicide several times and finally got it done. While I grieved for her loss, our Uncle told me and all of us something we needed to hear.
ReplyDeleteHe said that she was determined she'd leave this world before her time and NOTHING any of us could say or do was going to change it. She had told him this and he knew the ring of truth was in her words. After many attempts at therapy, hospitals, help, family support ........ she allowed everyone to believe she was better. With our guard down...... she OD'd on blood pressure medicines she had stolen from someone.
Tragic, yes. Her spouse is remarried and her girls now have a mom who is healthy and involved in their lives. None of us will ever truly know what she put her hubby through.
I know he deserved better than what he endured. I have quit asking why? I don't think there are any satisfactory answers to stuff like that. I knew when she was living she was deeply disturbed. I am thankful she is at peace now and that peace has come to her children, parents, and former spouse. There is no one on Earth I hate enough to wish something like that on them.
Dana, You're right, there is no one that deserves the hell they go through. The lies are all too familiar to me - the medical treatments, the hospital commitments ... and yes, they give all appearances treatments are working. Only to suicide when no one is looking. At least that's how it worked here, too, with my brother.
ReplyDeleteSomeone asked me not too long ago, if it were possible to time travel, would I go back in the past and try to save my brother? As much as I miss him and the hurt I've felt, I would have to say NO ... I would not go back (unless it was only to say one more time how much I love him and hold him one last time). I'd be selfish to ask of him to live life filled with the horrors and torment he knew on a daily basis. I feel the same for my cousin. There was something so terrible that the love of those precious children and her husband was over-shadowed.
I guess the good news would be that so far no mention of legalities has been made on facebook, and it sure is abuzz with condolences from so many people that are saddened by this news.