Can we all say one huge collective YAY!?!?!
Technically the job isn't Single Son's yet ... he's just waiting word on his background check. Funny, eh? Him? Mr Cop ... background check ... so it's just a formality they're waiting on. You know his background check is gonna come out CLEAN!
Oh, Em ... he's still a cop. But instead of patrolling now, he's a FTO (field training officer) and teaches Police Academy classes. It's not full time work ... and with wanting the Wrecking Crew out as badly as I do ... he's decided that he needed "outside" work. Besides, he's one of those that if he's not working a hundred hours a week he goes crazy (and drives me crazy in the process). Remember, this is on top of his StarFleet duties that take up a dozen hours a week of his time.
What a man.
ALIEN ENCOUNTERS
Drama, drama, drama ... and as hard as it is, I'm pretty much staying out of it, except for an occasional word of encouragement.
Grab a snack and a drink, sit down, get comfy ... let's start at the beginning (not the real beginning, just the beginning of the latest Drama Momma crap) ...
You remember that she moved into Bubba's house and he moves out to be with his girlfriend not six months later? He swore up and down he'd continue to take care of the house (it's falling apart literally) and would pay the bills for her until she could do so ... Well ... since he married her he's forgotten all about the house, his daughter AND his grandchildren ...
The bathroom plumbing leaks and is causing the kitchen ceiling below to fall in, the kitchen counter-tops are chipping off in huge chunks, the windows are drafty and actually let in water when it rains, the front door is split ... and there's more ... so you know he's NOT been doing anything in the ten years he's owned that house. And then, four months ago he quit paying any of the bills that he swore up and down he'd help her with ... the electrical was shut off (her Papaw paid to have that turned back on - to the tune of $600) and now the heat has been shut off (to the tune of $1200 past due that even Papaw can't afford to pay).
They've been living without heat and hot water for the last three weeks. The first week wasn't bad, as it was unseasonably warm, but the last two have been cold! Space heaters do the job in keeping the living areas warm during the day ... but it's unsafe to have them in with the babies at night ...
Now enter CPS ... Child Protective Services ... it's either move out immediately OR lose the boys. Needless to say Alien is scrambling to find a place to live within her means (and those are rather limited).
What I want to know is ... where is the DHS (Department of Human Services) ... the ones who are supposed to be helping her relocate because of this whole Loser in Jail situation? And ... why hasn't Alien let CPS know that DHS is supposed to be helping her relocate anyway?
And of course, that loser of an ex of mine is nowhere to be found. He ignores her calls, texts and emails. She can't show up at his front door because she doesn't know where he lives!
Remember ... this is the same man who fought for years and years for custody, gave her that damned car that I opposed so badly and encouraged her to run away to his house when she was legally old enough to do so ... and generally let her live under his roof with none of the rules I had ... and this is how it ends? He ignores her? Shuts her out because that's what his wife wants? Shuts off the heat and jeopardizes the health of the only grandchildren he'll ever have (and won't get to know thanks to his behavior of late). No man dared to tell me to shut my kids out of my life, and if he did, he would have been the one to go! Yet, he jumps at her commands.
Oh ... and the icing on this cake ... he had to have been the one who called CPS (although they won't confirm or deny who the complainant was) ... there were only three of us who knew the heat was off at that house ... Me, her Papaw, and Bubba (and his wife).
Karma is a bitch. I'm glad I won't be around to see what happens.
It's hard to watch this happen and not get involved. But I can't ... not just because of tough-love ... but because I don't have that kind of money (and besides, I'm not paying a cent to fix a Bubba past due bill, even if it effects my child and grands) ... and I sure don't have the space to put them all up here (yay ... what I don't need are more bodies who don't clean up after themselves, or get slapped as the convenient babysitter so they can have time off).
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No Easter plans here. I'm hoping it stays that way, but something tells me Mom will pull her last minute "we'll have dinner together for the holiday" stuff. She usually does.
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Hoping ya'll have a wonderful Easter.
YAY!! Isn't it just the way life goes that kids are so different. Your single son will always be the one to work hard and put things right and your daughter doesn't seem to learn from mistakes (like I said your life mirrors mine!).
ReplyDeleteI do hope that someone will intervene to give your daughter and kids somewhere to live - it takes a while over here but a lot of the parents I deal with in school (and live nearby) are single Mum's who are given houses, have their rent paid, and get state benefits.
It's an issue that has many complaining, as some them always seem to have more than those of us who work and own our homes!! But it is always wrong when someone desperately needing help doesn't get it.
HelenJo, we've had to have been twins in a previous life!! I swear!!
ReplyDeleteIt takes a while here sometimes, too, especially with the economy the way it is, and the fact that Michigan is pretty much broke right now. She already gets medical, food and cash benefits (to help with the utility bills, insurance, gasoline and other expenses) ... AND is enrolled in a few state and federal government sponsored programs for single parents, including relationship counseling amongst others. They (state gov't agency) claim they're trying to find her housing (low income housing here is usually an apartment), but sure are dragging their heels. She's also qualified for educational grants (that don't have to be repaid) to further her education in the hopes that she can get a good job somewhere down the line and leave the "welfare" system entirely.
Alien did leave me a message on facebook saying she's got more information to give me, but will call me to talk to me about it. Since it's pretty much in the middle of the night here I'm sure she'll call me first thing in "the morning". I'll be sure to update you as to what information she's got. I can only pray it's GOOD news. Heaven knows I could use some good news from that girl for a change!!
More hugs to you Lisa....I know how tough it is to have to sit back and not be able to fix things.....and how wonderful that Single Son is going to be able to fix things for you two.....he's a wonderful son and maybe some of it will eventually rub off on Alien. Now, things may well be different in Michigan, but here in Maryland Child Protective Services and DHS don't work together nearly as well as they should in part because their focus is different....DHS is trying to get parents trained and employed and off public assistance, while CPS isn't worrying about any of that - they just want to make sure that the kids are safe. But with the bills having piled up past due as high as they are, I'd hazard a guess that Alien is just ignoring problems hoping they'll go away.
ReplyDeleteHang in there - it will all work itself out.
Hope you do get some good news!
ReplyDeleteEm, nope the two agencies do not work together at all. Too bad, too ...
ReplyDeleteIt's not that Alien ignores the bills, the whole agreement was that she'd live in the house (think house-sitter), take care of Bubba's dog and the bills would all be paid for her. Papaw owns the house but doesn't live in it, Alien refuses to take possession of it legally because of the long neglected condition of the house (can't blame her there) ...
BUT ... she needs to get out of there, and away from that whole situation ... and stop making excuses on why she's not out yet. She needs to learn independence and to not rely on others.
Like I can speak, eh? Relying on Single Son the way I do ... makes me feel like a hypocrite - even while I try to rationalize that my situation (unemployment) is different from hers.
HelenJo ... it was good news, sort of, LOL. But she still needs to get out of that blasted house!! The sooner the better.
ReplyDeleteI posted a new blog entry about it ...
Lisa your situation IS different. You raised your kids and were there when they needed you and so adult children have the responsibility to do the same back, and I'm glad that he is. Besides, you are looking for work and you are keeping house for Single Son - you aren't just sitting around waiting for thngs to come to you. I know its your folks house, but you certainly do a lot for them as well.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize Alien was looking after a dog and two kids(and a BF) now there's a houseful. And you are right - clearly her father isn 't going to hold up his part of the bargain and so she needs to get out of there. She definitely needs to learn to take more responsibility for herself instead of counting on other people to pay her way.......(even if there was a housesitting deal - clearly it's not valid anymore - so she needs to start worrying about those utility bills NOW to keep this from happening again in a few months.
I am sure there are homeless shelters that would take her and the kids in temporarily while the state finds them a subsidized apartment....because from what you say - the place they are is just not safe.....spaceheaters and toddlers do NOT mix.
Em, thanks ... I still feel like a hypocrite at times, but I'm working on that, LOL.
ReplyDeleteYup, she has her hands full alright ... and she definitely needs to learn what her priorities are ... herself and the boys first and foremost. She doesn't seem to appreciate that she has to make sacrifices for her children. and ... she needs to stop making excuses like "I can't clean because I have two little ones" ... BULLPUCKY! We all did it ... for thousands of years women have been multi-tasking the chores with raising the kiddies ... and we survived.
But that seems to be a modern day excuse ... I've seen lots of these young parents who claim they can't do (whatever) because the kiddies need attention.
Oh well, we can't solve the world's problems ... I'd just like to settle what's wrong in my world.
Which is my problem ... wanting to solve their problems (all of my kids) ... she's an adult ... she needs to THINK FOR HERSELF .... this is where Mommy has to step back (which I think I'm doing a pretty good job of restraining myself) and let her figure it out.
I'd like to see her in a Women's Shelter, personally ... but those need a police (or court) referral to get into ... the two homeless shelters are filled past capacity ... so that leaves the shelter route pretty much closed to her. Too bad, too ... it'd be the perfect solution for her.
I keep telling her that the bf needs a real job so he can pay real bills, including rent. Low income housing is highly demanded around here ... BUT she should have put her arse on every subsidized complex waiting list within the county when she first got pregnant with Butterball (over two years ago) ... she'd have something by now ...
But noooooo ... that takes foresight, and planning, and ... dare I say ... maturity to actually THINK of someone else (the kids) before yourself.
"this is where Mommy has to step back (which I think I'm doing a pretty good job of restraining myself"
ReplyDeleteI understand how difficult it is to do the right thing - but you are doing a DAMN FINE job.......hang in there.
Things have a way of working themselves out for the best eventually if you just keep keeping on.
Keep on keepin' on ... I see a dude with the big feet trucking down the road ... most specifically one of the cartoons I drew in cartooning class. I'll have to drag him out of storage and dust him off!
ReplyDeleteGotta make that my motto, make the cartoon my mascot!!