Gross Grub - Day Old Bathwater

Description:
This is the last entry for Gross Grub recipes. It's been fun!! Watch for a new recipe category starting soon.

Gross Grub by Cheryl Porter
Random House
ISBN 0-679-86693-0

Ingredients:
12 ounces Can frozen lemonade
12 ounces Can frozen pink lemonade
12 ounces Can frozen limeade
1/2 gallon Rainbow sherbert

Directions:
About 45 minutes before serving time, set cans of lemon and limeade and the container of sherbert out to thaw. After 15 minutes, scoop out half of the sherbert's containers contents and place it into a brownish color. Place the remaining sherbert back in. Prepare lemon and limeades according to the package directions and pour into the punch bowl.

Carefully float spoonfuls of the brown blended sherbert on top of the lemonade mixture, spreading it around to look like dirty brown suds. Do not stir. Use a ladle to serve punch in cups. Serves about 30 dirty, nonbathing buddies.

Sicko serving suggestion: Float a handful of green, yellow and white tiny after dinner mints (tiny bars of soap), on top of your scummy punch.

Gross Grub - Green Grassy Cow Patties

Description:
Gross Grub by Cheryl Porter
Random House
ISBN 0-679-86693-0

Ingredients:
3 ounces Package lime jello
1 cup Hot water
1 cup Sweetened shredded coconut
1/2 pound Butter -- softened
2/3 cup Firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 cup Sugar
2 Eggs
2 tablespoons Milk
2 teaspoons Vanilla
1 3/4 cups Flour
1 teaspoon Baking soda
1/2 teaspoon Salt
2 1/2 cups Old fashioned oats
1 cup Chopped walnuts
1 cup Currants

Directions:
With an adult's help, preheat oven to 375F. Mix jello and hot water in a small bowl. Stir until jello is dissolved. Add the shredded coconut, stir and set the bowl aside.

Beat the butter and sugars until creamy. Add the eggs, milk and vanilla and beat again. Set aside.

Combine the flour, baking soda and salt in a small bowl. Add this to the big bowl and stir well. Stir in oats, nuts and currants and mix.

With a slotted spoon, separate the shredded coconut from the gelatin and set the coconut on a few paper towels to drain. Place another 2 paper towels on top of the coconut and press, squeezing out any liquid. The leftover jello is not needed. Add a cup of Spoon out tablespoon sized lumps of dough and place them 1-2″ apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 9-10 minutes until golden brown. Allow lumps (which should now be shaped like steaming patties) to cool on cookie sheet for 1 minute. Then, put on wire rack to cool.

Gross Grub - Glycol Punch

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
Ingredients:
2 liters of Diet Mountain Dew
1 pkg. Blue Kool-Aide prepared

Directions:
Notes:
This punch has a fantastic color. The punch also tastes pretty good. If you want an excellent effect for punch this is the one to go for. Diet Mountain Dew produces the best color.

Preparation:
In a large punch bowl add the Diet Mountain Dew. Add in enough of the prepared Blue Kool-Aide to obtain the Glycol color. We obtained our color with about 3 cups of Kool-Aide.

Gross Grub - Gory Gorilla Tonsils

Description:
Recipe by: Creepy Cuisine, Lucy Munroe

Ingredients:
2 Brussel sprouts
1/4 ts Salt
4 oz American cheese -- grated
2 tb Milk
10 Iceberg lettuce leaves
1/4 ts Paprika

Directions:
Wash the Brussels sprouts and remove any discolored leaves. Trim off the stem ends and cut an X into the bottom of each sprout to make sure your tonsils cook nice and tender. Place the sprouts in a pot containing about 2 inches of water and sprinkle with the salt. Cover the pot and cook over medium heat until boiling. After 8 to 10 minutes, carefully stab a few sprouts with a fork to see if they're tender. When you can easily pierce them through to their centers, remove the pot from the heat and carefully drain the sprouts in a colander. Place the grated cheese in a small saucepan and add the milk. Simmer over low heat, stirring continuously with a wooden spoon until the cheese melts. Remove the saucepan from the heat as soon as the cheese melts. Arrange a bed of washed lettuce leaves on a platter. Place the gorilla tonsils ~ in pairs, of course - on the leaves. Drizzle the melted cheese (pus) over the tonsils. Sprinkle with paprika (blood specks) and serve.

Gross Grub - Blood Cake

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
1 Sponge cake mix
1 large bar white chocolate (500g at least)
1 Bottle red food coloring
A large number of red smarties (or M&M's if you can't get those)
1 tub of White Icing
1 tub strawberry ice cream
A set of plastic vampire teeth

Directions:
Dead simple this.
Make up the sponge cake mix but add lots of red food coloring to get the mixture nice and blood like. Next, add about 400g of the chocolate (melted of course) to the sponge cake mix, adding more food coloring if the mixture seems to be getting too pinky. Allow to cook for the normal length of time. Make up quite a bit of icing in the meantime (adding the final 100g of chocolate to this) and color this red also.

When the cake has cooked, allow to cool for about 1 hour and then cut in 1/2. Taking the top half, pour the icing over and allow to set pretty randomly, but place the vampire teeth in the icing where they will cause maximum effect (in the centre is usually a good bet). Before you serve this cake, place a generous layer of the ice-cream on top of the bottom layer and replace the top. serve with extra scoops of the ice cream and strawberry sauce.

Mix the smarties into the cake mix, and stick a few more in the icing. And remember use RED ones (you can really freak people out by telling them they are blood clots!)

Enjoy!

Gross Grub - Hairball Salad With Saliva Dressing

Description:
Gross Grub by Cheryl Porter
Random House
ISBN 0-679-86693-0

Ingredients:
2 Avacados
2 cups Alfalfa sprouts
5 large To 6 carrots -- washed peeled and grated
Italian dressing

Directions:
With an adults help, cut avocado in half. Use a spoon to scopp out the pit.

Scoop avocado out of the shell and put in the bowl. Add sprouts to the avocado meat. Mash with a fork. It is ok to leave some lumps. Set the mixture aside.

Divide the grated carrots among the four salad bowls.

Using your clean fingers and a spoon, make walnut size hairballs from the avocado mixture and arrange them on top of the grated carrots. Pour Italian “saliva” dressing over hairballs and serve. Serves 4 cat fanciers.

Sicko serving suggestion: Squeeze ribbons of chocolate icing “hairball” medicine out of a paper cone onto the backs of your guests hands to be licked off for dessert.

Gross Grub - Bone Cookies

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
5 egg whites at room temperature
pinch of cream of tartar
1 1/2 cups sugar
pinch of salt
1 tsp. extract of almond, vanilla, orange, or lemon

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 220 degrees. Line 1 or 2 cookies sheets with parchment paper. Prepare a piping bag with a round #10 tip (about 3/8 inch in diameter).

2. Beat egg whites and cream of tartar until soft peaks form. Gradually add the sugar-salt mixture, beating constantly, mixing well after each addition. Beat to stiff peaks, until meringue is shiny and smooth. Add flavoring and beat just until combined.

3. Fill piping bag with meringue. Pipe a log 3 or 4 inches. Pipe 2 balls on both sides of the ends of the log. Smooth any peaks that may occur with your wet finger. Repeat with remaining meringue.

4. Bake 30 minutes and turn off heat. Leave cookie in oven overnight; do not open oven door.

Gross Grub - Green Slime with Skeleton Bread

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
GREEN SLIME
10 oz Frozen Spinach, Thawed
4 oz Cream Cheese
1/2 c Sour Cream
1/3 c Mild Salsa
2 Green Onions, Chopped
1 Garlic Clove, minced
1/2 tsp Salt
1/2 tsp Pepper

Directions:
Drain spinach; squeeze dry. In food processor, pure spinach, cheese, sour cream, salsa, onions, garlic,
salt and pepper. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours or until thickened slightly. Let stand at room
temperature for 30 minutes.
Serve with Skeleton Bread ...


SKELETON BREAD
1/2 pkg Frozen Bread Dough (1/2 of 1lb pkg (8oz)
1 ea Egg, Beaten
1 tbsp Water
1 tbsp Poppy Seeds

Thaw and let bread rise according to manufacturer's instructions. Punch down dough; divide in half. Set 1 half aside.
Cut remaining half into thirds. With 1 of the thirds, form head shaped like a light bulb. With scissors, cut eyes, nose and mouth. Place heat at end of greased 17x11-inch rimmed baking sheet. Shape second third into 3-inch long triangle; place, point down, below heat to form body. Divide remaining third of dough into 7 pieces; roll into sausages. Arrange 3 on each side of upper body for ribs. Use remaining piece for neck.
Halve reserved dough. With 1 half, make 4 logs for upper and lower legs; attach to body. With two-thirds of the remaining dough, make 4 logs for upper and lower arms; attach at shoulders.
With remaining dough, make 2 small and 2 large triangles for hands and feet. With scissors, make 4 cuts at broad ends of triangles for fingers and toes; attach to arms and legs. Cover and let rise for 30 minutes.
Whisk egg with water; brush some over joints, pressing to seal. Brush entire skeleton with remaining egg wash; sprinkle with poppy seeds. Bake in 375F 190C oven for about 15 minutes or until golden.

Gross Grub - Black Widow Snack Cakes

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
1 package Devil's food cake mix
Vegetable cooking spray

-----GLAZE-----
4 cups Powdered sugar -- sifted
5 tablespoons Milk -- to 7 tbls

-----DECORATE-----
1 cup Powdered sugar -- sifted
1/4 cup Unsweetened cocoa
2 tablespoons Milk
Plastic spiders

Directions:
Prepare cake as directed on package. Pour into 2, 8″ square aluminum foil pans coated with cooking spray; bake at 350~ for 30-35 minutes or until tested done. Cool in pans on wire racks.

Combine 4 cups powdered sugar and 5-7 tbls milk in a large bowl; spread a thin layer evenly over each cake. Combine 1 cup powdered sugar, cocoa and 2 tbls milk; spoon into a small zip-lock bag. Close bag securely and snip a tiny hole in bottom corner of bag. Carefully pipe concentric circles onto each cake. Pipe straight lines at intervals from the inner circle through the outside circle, forming a web design. Garnish with plastic spiders.

Gross Grub - Dead Sea Soup

Description:
Gross Grub by Cheryl Porter
Random House
ISBN 0-679-86693-0

Ingredients:
1 Celery heart with whitish leafy stalks
1 sm Jar artichoke hearts
1 cn (10 1/2oz) chicken with rice
Soup
Blue and green food colorings
1 c Fish shaped crackers

Directions:
With an adult's help, chop the celery heart into small pieces. Using clean hands, pull apart the surrounding whitish leafy stalks, leaving them long and stringy; these celery pieces will be your seaweed. Set aside.

Drain the jar of artichoke hearts and cut into the size of a penny.

Prepare soup according to directions. Add the celery and artichokes and heat until soup comes to a boil. turn heat to low and carefully add two or three drops each green and blue food coloring until the soup reaches an appropriately murky seawater color.

Carefully ladle the hot soup into individual bowls and sprinkle a quarter cup of crackers on top of each one. Encourage some of the floating celery seaweed to hang over edge of bowls and serve. Artichoke pieces and rice from the soup will sink.

Gross Grub - Bloody Bug Juice

Description:
Creepy Cuisine, Lucy Munroe

Ingredients:
24 oz Frozen strawberries -- thawed
6 oz Lemonade, frozen concentrate
1 qt Ginger ale
1 c Raisins
1 c Blueberries -- fresh or frozen

Directions:
Place the strawberries in a bowl and mash with a fork. In a large pitcher, mix the strawberry mash, lemonade and ginger ale. Place handfuls of raisins and blueberries (bugs) into tall glasses. Pour the liquid over the bugs, then sit back and watch the bugs and scum rise to the top of each glass. To quench a creepy crowd's thirst, double or triple this recipe and serve in a punch bowl. Drape some gummy worms over the rim of your bowl for a particularly swampy-looking effect!

Gross Grub - Monster Munch

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
1 Cup Dry roast peanuts -- unsalted
1/3 Cup Butter or margarine
1 Pound Marshmallows
1/2 Cup Peanut butter
3 Cups Puffed rice cereal
1 Cup Apricots -- chopped
1 Cup Raisins

Directions:
In a large bowl, combine cereal, apricots, raisins and peanuts. In a microwave safe 13x9", melt butter and marshmallows on high for 2 minutes. Stir; add peanut butter cook on high 2 minutes longer. Stir until well blended, add cereal mixture to dish and toss until well coated. Working quickly with greased hand, form into balls, using about 1/2 C mixture, per ball. If mixture begins to harden, cook on high for 30 seconds, or until softened. If desired , mixture may be spread in unbuttered 13x9″ dish and cooled and cut into bars. Makes 1 dozen balls or 2 dozen bars, This is very similar to the Rice Krispie treats, but with the apricots and raisins it definitely gives it a fall look. I saw another idea of putting the mixture into cookie cutters, and letting it cool there so the shapes could be pumpkins, witches, etc. With a little gel piping they would be great.

Gross Grub - Cat Poop Cookies

Description:
There are two flavors in this recipe, chocolate and gingerbread.
Recipe source unknown.


Ingredients:
Do you want chocolate or gingerbread flavored poop?

-CHOCOLATE INGREDIENTS
1/2 c Honey
2/3 c (1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine,
1 Egg
1 tsp Vanilla or peppermint -extract
2 c Whole wheat flour
1/3 c Cocoa powder
Grape-nuts(tm) cereal

GINGERBREAD INGREDIENTS
1/4 c Honey
1/4 c Molasses
2/3 Cup(1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine,
1 Egg
2 And 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
Spices-ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste(maybe 1/2 tsp each)
Grape-nuts(tm) cereal

MIX-INS (optional)
Coconut(tapeworms)
Chocolate chips
Butterscotch chips
Peanut butter chips
ramen noodles(roundworms)
Corn
Peanuts
M&ms

Directions:
There are two flavors-chocolate (dark brown), and gingerbread (light brown)
I seldom measure carefully so amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring. The cookies are dense and not very sweet, this is necesssary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar they may be tastier but they won't look like poop

To make:
Microwave the honey till it bubbles(about 1 minute). Add the butter,(I've been told using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie)and the molasses, if any. Add the egg, mix well, then mix in all the other stuff. Add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter.

Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge. Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops. Roll logs in grape-nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done(maybe 10 to 15 minutes but with my flaky oven you never know). Note: someone with a reliable oven says it'scloser to 20 minutes for him.
Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of grapenuts, with a cat litter scoop. I hear you get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding. I imagine brown sugar might work as a substitute for the new clumping litters, but I haven't tried it. I've been told that mixing brown sugar with the grapenuts "sweetens up the cookie a bit while still looking truly hideous."

Gross Grub - Finger Pizzas

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
1 red bell pepper (4 oz.)
12 sticks (1 oz. each) mozzarella
8 small (about 5″ diam.) baked pizza crusts
1 cup purchased pizza sauce

Directions:
Core, stem and seed pepper; cut lengthwise into 1“-wide strips. Cut each strip crosswise into 1/2″ pieces (fingernails). Round corners on one end of each piece.

Cut each cheese stick in half crosswise. On rounded end of each stick (finger), cut out a 1/2”-square notch into which a pepper piece will fit to make a nail.

Lay crusts slightly apart on 3 baking sheets, each 12x15". Spread 2 T. sauce evenly over each crust. Lay 3 cheese fingers well apart on each crust: fit a red pepper nail onto each. Bake in a 450F oven until cheese just begins to melt, about 8 min.

Nutritional Analysis per pizza: 338 cal., 40% (135 cal) from fat; 10 g protein; 15 g. gat (6.9 g. sat); 36 g carbo.; 422 mg. sodium; 33 mg. chol.

Gross Grub - Dirt Dessert

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
1 Flower pot (new)
1 Garden trowel (new)
3 Gummy worms
1 Plastic flowers, bunch
16 oz Oreo cookies
1/2 c Butter, softened
8 oz Cream cheese, softened
1 c Confectioner's sugar
1 tsp Vanilla
2 pkg Inst choc-fudge pudding (4oz)
3 c Milk
12 oz Whipped topping, 1 tub thawed

Directions:
This is a joke, a bit of whimsy to lighten up your next party. The cake is really a quick mix dessert made with Oreo cookies and soft squishy stuff. The trick is to capture everyone's attention with an announcement of some sort, and as you are speaking, trowel out some of the dirt from the flower pot around the flowers and eat it. May be followed by a worm dug out of the "dirt". You may substitute vanilla pudding for the chocolate if you want, and use up to 20 oz of Oreos. Please use a clean new plastic flower pot or take the precaution of lining a clay pot with foil and wrap the stems of live flowers if you use them in order to prevent any toxins from entering the dessert. Crush the cookies until they resemble potting soil. Set aside. Cream the butter or margarine, cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth and fluffy. Set aside. Combine the pudding mix and milk until well blended. Then fold in the whipped topping. Gently fold the cream cheese and pudding mixtures together. To put the "cake" together, layerone-third of the cookie crumbs followed by 1/2 of the pudding mixture, 1/3 of the crumbs, the rest of the pudding mixture and topping with the balance of the crumbs. Refrigerate 10-12 hours before serving.

Remove from refrigerator, decorate with flowers. Serve by digging out portions with the trowel.

Serves 10 to 12.

Gross Grub - Fabric Softener Smoothie

Description:
Gross Grub by Cheryl Porter
Random House
ISBN 0-679-86693-0

Ingredients:
7 Or 8 ice cubes
1 cup Milk
1 large Scoop vanilla ice cream
Blue food coloring

Directions:
With an adult's help, grind ice cubes in blender.

Add milk to crushed ice and lend on low speed for 10 seconds. Add one large scoop of ice cream and blend again for about 30 seconds.

Slowly add about eight drops of food coloring to blender, mixing after every couple of drops, until smoothie is the color of your favorite fabric softner.
Serves 1 downy dude.

Gross Grub - Bloody Eyeballs on the Rocks

Description:
Creepy Cuisine, Lucy Munroe

Ingredients:
12 Radishes
7 Oz Jar pimento-stuffed Olives
46 Oz Can tomato juice

Directions:
You can “ see” this drink is eye-deal on a hot day! This is a recipe for older Kids to make with an Adult's help.

What you will need. Vegetable peeler ice cube tray tall glasses

1. Prepare these bloody eyeballs the day before you plan to serve them. With an adult's help, peel 12 radishes, leaving thin streaks of red skin on them for blood vessels.

2... Using the tip of the vegetable peeler or small knife, carefully scoop out a small hole in each radish. Stuff a green olive, pimento side out, in each hole. Place 1 radish in each section of an empty ice cube tray. (You may need to pare your eyeballs down a bit to fit the ice cube tray.)

3... Fill the tray with water and freeze overnight.

4... Pour tall glasses 3/4 full of tomato juice and add a pair of eyeballs to each glass. Cheers!! This bloods for you!

Serves 6 thirsty creeps.

Gross Grub - Fried Gremlin Ears

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
9 oz pkg cheese filled tortellini
green food coloring
1 egg beaten
1/4 milk
1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs
2 Tbsp grated parmesan cheese
cooking oil for frying
spaghetti sauce for dipping


Directions:
Cook Tortellini according to pkg directions; drain in a colander. Rinse with cold water, drain again. If desired, fill large bowl with cold water add several drops of green food coloring. Add cooked tortellini. Let stand for 15/20 minutes. Drain well.

In a large bowl combine egg and milk. Add tortellini, toss to gently to coat. In a plastic bag combine bread crumbs and parmesan cheese Using a slotted spoon, transfer tortellini, about one fourth at a time to crumb mixture, toss to coat.

Fry tortellini about 12 at a time, in a deep hot oil about one minute or until golden brown. Remove with slotted spoon and drain on paper towels. Transfer to a baking sheet or oven proof platter and keep warm in a 300º oven while frying remaining tortellini.

Serve warm. If desired with spaghetti sauce. Make about 78 ears.

Gross Grub - Chunky Cat Barf

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
1 lg Spaghetti Squash
8 oz Cottage Cheese
16 oz Mozzarella (grated)
8 oz Parmesan (grated)
1 qt Spaghetti sauce (w/peppers)

Directions:
Cook squash. Fork out insides into a giant casserole dish. Add cottage cheese, half of the mozzarella and parmesan, sauce. Mix it until it looks like it's name. Top with remaining cheese. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes.

Gross Grub - Chocolate Armpit Hairs

Description:
Recipe source unknown.

Ingredients:
3 large shredded wheat bundles
3 TBSP. honey
1 TBSP. light brown sugar
1 6oz. bag milk chocolate chips
2 TBSP. butter or margarine

Directions:
Break up shredded wheat bundles into single long strands, so that they have the appearance of armpit hairs. Set aside. Place the honey, brown sugar, chocolate chips, and butter in a medium sized heavy saucepan and heat over low to melt. Gently stir mixture with a rubber spatula. Mixture should be smooth and glossy. Remove the saucepan from burner and place it on a heat safe work surface. Gently fold in shredded wheat. When the shredded wheat is completely coated, scoop it onto wax paper in nine equal portions. Use a fork to gently rake "hairs" into one direction. To set Chocolate Armpit Hairs, place them in refrigerator for about thirty minutes. If there are any hairy bundles left over, keep them stored in the refrigerator.