Sisterly Love??

I love reading the Police Reports sections of our local newspapers. Never know what laughs you'll find there!!

February 20, 2008 - Party, potty, police

On Feb. 10, a Brandon deputy was dispatched to the 100 block of Lockwood for a missing person. The complainant said she and her intoxicated brother were on their way to her home from a party when he asked her to stop so he could urinate. She did not and he became verbally abusive. When she slowed around a curve at Granger and Lockwood, he jumped out of her vehicle and began walking east on Granger Road. She said her brother was from Washington state and did not know the area. Weather conditions were very poor. She couldn't convince him to get back in the car. He was dropped off at her house by a cab company the following afternoon after having spent the night in Pontiac.

Straight out of Detroit Free Press ...

For all of you following the "Sex Lies and Text Messages" saga concerning Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick ... check this out!! It's hysterical!!

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200880228005

I only wish it were on youtube already!! Give it a few days (and then I'll put it here) ... until then ... click on the "Freep" link and be prepared for a good laugh!!

Friday night entertainment. Thanks, Terry!!

I snagged this from Terry ...

What color is your underwear?
Ummmm ... commando at the moment (TMI?)

What kinda deodorant do you use?
Hi & Dri

Do you drink?
Only if it's Diet Mt Dew, diet iced tea or water.

How about smoke?
Guilty

Are you amused easily?
Easily, very easily

What is your favorite candy?
Candy corns! But they're off limits to me now.

What color are your tennis shoes?
Don't own any tennies at the moment. Looking to buy some - probably be black.

What sport CANT you play?
Pick one, any one ...

What sport CAN you play?
I play a wicked game of computer pool. Does that count?

How many m&ms can you fit in your mouth?
I can't say I've ever tried to find out.

Do you or have you had braces?
Nope to both ...

Whats your favorite holiday?
Fourth of July. Patroitic Parades, Picnics, Fireworks, Dad's Birthday ...

Do you just LOVE chocolate?
I do, but it doesn't like me!!

What color highlighter do you use most?
Don't use highlighters

Would you kiss the same sex?
Depends ... what kind of kiss are we talking?

WAIT! Have U kissed the same sex before?
On the cheek

Was your last boyfriend/girlfriend a jerk?
Nope

Have you played spin the bottle?
Wow, back like a million years ago.

How bout 7 minutes in Heaven?
Say what?? WTH is that??

How many piercings do you have?
6 holes in two ears ...

What EXOTIC color would U dye your hair?
I'm a dyed redhead. That's about as exotic as I'm gonna go

Is your grandma rad?
LOL, she prided herself on being *hip* ...

Can you skateboard?
Right, a klutz skateboard?

Can you surf?
The internet, yup.

How many hours a day are you on the computer?
I never timed it, but a lot ...

Whats the HOTTEST piercing a person could have?
I really don't consider piercings as HOT ... damn, my age is showing!

How many lives do cats REALLY have?
one, once it's dead...it's DEAD people! (great answer, Terry, I'm leaving it)

Do you have a fish tank?
Not with four cats in the house.

What is your favorite cereal?
Honey Nut Cheerios

Do you eat cafeteria food?
Only when I absolutely have to.

Where is the HOTTEST place a guy could have a tattoo?
Saw a picture once of a guy that had a snake tattoo on his ... his ... thingie. Why I thought it was HOT I don't know, LOL, but I did!!

Where is the HOTTEST place for a FEMALE?
Right over the upper part of the breast

How many siblings do you have?
Two younger brothers. One is an Angel now.

Do U have kids?
Three of 'em that I sometimes even claim as mine. Even have a grandkid.

How many GOOD friends do U have?
2 male, 3 female ...

How many enemies?
One, and that's too many!!

Are you sentimental?
Does a fish swim? Do bears live in the woods??

Do you cry easily?
Yeah, I do. Too easily.

Are you by any chance EMO?
LOL, I'm 48. A little too old to be EMO, I'd say (and NO, if I were younger, I'm not EMO)

What animal would best describe YOU?
A squirrel. Like you didn't see *that* one coming!!!

Do you smile a lot?
When I'm out and about I try to smile at everyone I encounter. Don't feel the need to be all smiley at home, though.

Have you EVER fell down stairs?
I'm a klutz. I fall down the stairs. I have fallen UP them too.

HoolaHoop or jump-rope?
Back in the day it was jump ropes.

Can U say your ABCs backwards?
Yuppers, I can.

Getting Blown kisses or getting winked at?
Depends. Who's blowing kisses or winking??

Do you wear FAKE NAILS?
Nope.

Have you ever BEEN in love?
A few times.

Play Checkers?
Yup, but it's been years since I have.

Britney Or Cristina?
How about neither??

Fav. Fruit?
Banana or pear

Do Chinese people scare you?
Ummmm, no

MOST BORING TV. Show Is...
Hmmmm ... golf or fishing ...

Friends w/ benefits or relationship?
Relationship

Hot cheetos or regular?
Regular

What did U wanna be when U were little?
An architect or a gypsy.

How many hearts have U broken?
At least one that I'm aware of.

Glasses, HOT or NOT?
Depends on the style and the person. Some are HOT some are NOT!!

Are you illiterate?
Yup I sure am (oy vey, what a dorky question. I'm filling this out aren't I?)

Have u ever dated a metro?
I wish I could say no. Nothing sadder than a 50 year old METRO male!!

What color is the bra u have on?
Black

WAIT! are u wearing a bra?
For a few more minutes anyway

Do u play hard to get?
Not exactly hard to get, but I'm not easy either.

Have u ever wished u had SOMEONE else’s body?
Heck no. Took me a lot of years to break this one in right. 

Kids Say The Darnedest Things!!

NUDITY:
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

OPINIONS:
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

KETCHUP:
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY:
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

POLICE # 1:
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

POLICE # 2:
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

ELDERLY: While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.  She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,  particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair  of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy  will never believe this!"

DRESS-UP:
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. "

DEATH:
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes." (I want this line used at my funeral!)

SCHOOL:
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just  wasting my time," she said to her mother "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE:
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He   picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been   pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

Still snowing!!

And the snow continues to fall. About three inches on top of the 4 - 6 we already have on the ground. Travel isn't the best today. They even had to shut down a few highways today because of multiple car accidents.

And I'm going out in it!! I really don't want to, but I've been putting this off for a month now. No more excuses, not even the weather. Alien and I are headed to my folks for dinner. Haven't seen them since before my surgery!! What's funny is we're getting along great these days, so there's no reason, really, for not getting there. Just had to cancel every other time we'd planned dinner for one reason or the other. And I'm too much like my mom to let the weather stop me. She's the *brave* one, the one who taught me how to drive in lousy weather. So she knows I can't use slippery roads as my excuse either!

Besides, she sent me a check yesterday in the mail. That sort of guilted me into not cancelling dinner with them tonight, LOL!!!!! I had *no* idea it was coming. She made it out to Sears, LOL, it's the last payment for the Christmas gifts I charged.

So my first stop will be to Sears to pay them ... then stop for batteries for my old digital camera. I'm giving it to my dad. It's perfect for him. He's a stroke patient, his right side is paralyzed. This camera is pretty much a one-handed camera. Pretty easy to use, too.

His first pictures with it will be of us, I'm sure. LOL! They haven't seen us since before Alien and I had our hair cuts and colored our hair. Should be a Kodak moment as far as Dad's concerned!

I had to laugh, yesterday Married Son, DIL and Grandson stopped by the house. Grandson is a hoot, I tell you!! I have this grabber thingie (reach extender) that Single Son got from the hospital back in 2000 when he had his car accident.
It's been handy to have around since I had my surgery. Anyway ... Grandson loves to play with that thing!! He'll pick something up and say "I got it, Gamma" and all but throw the object he's grabbed at me. Yesterday he kept grabbing ME with it! "I got you, Gamma" and he'd laugh as I pretend screamed "Oh no! Help!! He's got me! Help me! Help me!" We both laughed so hard. He got the hiccups from laughing!! The cat, Ringo , didn't think it was too funny when Grandson tried to grab him, though!!

Well, enough procrastinating. Time to get ready to head out.

Oops, it's Wednesday!!

And once again I *forgot* about Ten Thoughts Tuesday!!! Oy!! Then again, I didn't have a working computer until last night ... yup, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!

1) Had the scare of my life last night. I'm diabetic and did my nightly blood gluclose reading only to have "520" displayed on my monitor! Yipes!! No way ... I'd be in a coma with *that* reading. After the initial panic subsided I redid the reading, to have it be a more *normal* 190. Okay, I know 190 is high, but after that initial reading of 520 I was relieved it wasn't higher. (110 - 120 is a normal blood sugar count).

2) Of course, I did my blood pressure reading right after that. It was through the roof!! Scared the hell out of me with that blood sugar reading, it did!!

3) The only reason I can figure that I came up with a false reading was because I may have used the first blood. Diabetics know what I mean ... when you poke for a reading you wipe away that first "bleed". It contains too many impurities - like skin fragments. I don't think I got all of the first blood removed ... or that's what I'm hoping. Everything is fine today, readings still on the high side, but not like that scary one last night.

4) Married Son is home for a few days. We're planning on going out to dinner tonight. Yum. Nothing fancy. His wife works at Arby's ... he's got some Arby's coupons ... and my favorite Arby's sandwich is on sale on top of it. Gotta love those Rueben sandwiches!! LOL. Sooooo, while his wifey is working, Married Son, Grandson, Alien and I will be dining. Yeah, I'm a cheap date what can I say!!

5) Single Son finally got my computer working again. The old hard drive was dying. He swapped it for the hard drive from my old computer (the one that had the fire). Had a few problems with the cable that goes to the hard drive, but fixed it with a paperclip of all things! Yeah, it was "wobbly", the paperclip wedged in the port keeps it from wobbling. Probably not the best fix, but it'll work until I am able to get to the store for a new cable.

6) So how's everyone enjoying all this snow?? I know I'm sick of it! 14 degrees outside ... I hear we're in for a *heatwave* later this week ... temps in the mid 40s this weekend. Oh lordy. All that snow melting is gonna mean a lot of flooding!! Where's SPRING??

7) I've been on a search for a bumper sticker for a while now. I don't put bumper stickers on my vehicles, but I just *have* to have this one!!!! It says "I'm not drunk officer, I'm dodging potholes"

8) Why is it that well intending friends hear you're single again and just have to fix you up with some eligible bachelor (or divorcee) that they know? I appreciate the thought, but geesh ... do I really want to jump from the frying pan right back into the fire? I don't think so!!

9) I've been trying to research a place called Williamsburg, Kentucky. Found a lot of information on it, except for apartments and houses available for rent. Married Son has decided that he wants to set up the trucking business in Williamsburg. He's been through there many times and absolutely loves the area. Seems to think I'd love it too. So ... looks like I'll be moving to Williamsburg, KY. Probably won't move until next year now as there's a lot of things we need to do before we can open for business.

10) Alright, I just had the crap scared out of me!!! Married Son comes *banging* on my door. Just about jumped out of my skin. "Come on Mom, let's go ... dinner awaits". Early dinner it looks like. So, gonna peel myself off the ceiling, get the shoes and winter coat on and head out.

You're So Sweet - Neil Diamond

You're So Sweet - Neil Diamond

You're so sweet,
Horseflies keep hangin' 'round your face
Kentucky moonshine
Could never take your place
And your eyes
Could give me goose bumps down to my toes
Feel like the only rooster in the hen house,
I guess it shows.

Mary Lou Jane
What a fine name
And you're nothing like them females
From New York City
Front teeth missin'
And that's fine for kissin'
You're more loyal than my dog Sam,
And twice as pretty

You're so sweet,
Horseflies keep hangin' 'round your face
Kentucky moonshine
Could never take your place
And your eyes
Could give me goose bumps down to my toes
Feel like the only rooster in the hen house,
I guess it shows.

You're so sweet,
Horseflies keep hangin' 'round your face
Kentucky moonshine
Could never take your place
And your eyes
Could give me goose bumps down to my toes
Feel like the only rooster in the hen house,
I guess it shows.

Feel like the only rooster in the hen house,
I guess it shows