It's been one loooooong day 'round here.
Alien called me, waking me up this morning, could I watch the baby for about six or so hours?? Now, we know I said I wouldn't watch him until he could feed himself and was potty trained (hold a hamburger and flush the toilet) ... well, I just couldn't say no - not after she told me why. Seems someone (I'm thinking the Loser) called CPS (Children's Protective Service) and complained about the messes in that house. Most of it's her father, Bubba's crap, but she's contributed to it - dirty kitchen, dirty bathroom, laundry piled up, etc (a FlyLady's nightmare). She had an inspection yesterday and was told by the social worker that if it's not cleaned up by Monday afternoon that Butterball will be removed from the home.
She's panicked, to say the least. She's furious with Bubba. She's tried calling, he won't even answer the phone! Jackass!! His daughter, he fought so hard to turn her against me only to abandon her to some witch that hates Alien with a passion and actually forbids him from seeing his own daughter.
Karma is a bitch. He'll get his.
But in the meantime, she has a lot of work ahead of her. And The Knight in Rusy Armor bailed on her. Ya, can you believe it? Bailed. Was afraid to get too close to her and Butterball that he went running to his Grandmother's house. She claims it's not bailing, that he had reasons (family reunion she says) and will be back. Sorry, it's BAIL if you ask me ... he isn't there to help her when she needs it most.
And all I will do is watch the baby while she's cleaning. Oh, and I gave her some cleaners to use - stuff I'm allergic to, that I'd never have used anyway. I also gave her two couches that were in my family room ... she had to get rid of the dog-damaged sofa Bubba left behind when he moved out.
She's overwhelmed, needless to say. She's planning on talking to the social worker on Monday to see what assistance she may be able to get for housing. Heaven knows she needs to get out of that house - with Bubba's abandoned messes, his damned dogs he dumped on her, and gawd only knows what else that I'm not aware of.
I had Butterball for eight hours. He was good as gold. Ate just fine for me, tried to crawl away during diaper changes, tormented Spot (who sat there and took it!), slept (two naps no less), ate half a container of yogurt DIL fed him, only spit up once, didn't cry much ... but boy that Boy loves attention. When he wasn't sleeping he wanted to play with Gramma (and Grandson). Found out he loves pots and pans.
I told her I'd give her some of my furniture if she needs it, I have a lot of stuff here I rarely use ... and I told her she can take whatever she wants out of her sperm-donor's house ... and yes, she finally admitted that she declined her grandfather's offer to make her the legal owner (house needs way too much work for an 18 year old to do) ... but I told her since Bubba abandoned that house she should not feel guilty about taking whatever she needs out of it for herself. She agreed. She's hurt. Can't believe her father is acting this way.
Damn that man. Damn that he did this to her. Damn that I was right about it all, too. This is one time I wouldn't have had a problem with being wrong about that jackass that sadly I chosen to marry.
Like I said, karma is a bitch and he'll get his but good. I just hope he doesn't have to wait to see karma in action.
So ... on a cheerier note ...
The chore chart has been met with mixed emotions. Both Sons think it's a great idea, DIL hates it (gee, surprised?) and Grandson is still trying to figure it all out. But he's progressing rather nicely. Just tonight DIL didn't get to their dishes in a timely manner, and Grandson said "Mommy, if you want a smiley on your chore chart you better get to the dishes."
Bless his little heart!
Grandson had a great day today, too. Married Son let him play video games and he had fun playing with Butterball. Great day!! Up until just before bedtime when he actually wet his pants. DIL about went balistic! "I forgot to stop playing and go potty". Hey, he's 5 ... they sometimes get so wrapped up in what they're doing, they don't pay attention to nature's calls. It happens. Especially when you're playing a Cops and Robbers video game.
I'm one tired Gramma.
And I get to do it again tomorrow with Alien having half the house to still clean!
I'm so psyched that grandson is into the whole star thing :).....and that alien is cleaning up the house....and for that matter - it's probably good that she doesn't have "ownership" of the place because it would limit the aid she can get (and I'm guessin if she's not working, she definitely needs some aid,
ReplyDeleteI'm not surprised that the knight wanted a bit of distance - It is bailing if he made a commitment to her and is backing out....but the reality is that he was taking on a LOT, and better he realized that he wasn't up to it now than later. I am sure she's hurt, but rebound relationships generally don't last anyhow.
Im glad it got her cleaning the house, too ... even if it means I break my "hamburger/toilet" policy.
ReplyDeleteOdd thing about public assistance ... she might actually get more if the house were in her name. Speaking from experience ... had I owned this house, or even the car I drive -and an income of under $1200 a month - I would have qualified for rent assistance, utility payments, and cash assistance for such things as those suplimental things one needs for hygiene, cleaning, etc . As I own neither my home or car I was "shit out of luck" as the case-worker said.
Yup, rebound relationships ... as hurt as she is, the longer they'd have stayed together, the more hurt she'd have been. Now I just pray she concentrates on the babies, a job, and getting back into school.
Wow - the assistance thing definitely seems bass-ackwards then. But I believe it's managed somewhat differently state to state, so maybe some of it is based on the value of housing in the area. It seems to me that for people who can't afford to pay their ordinary expenses, a house is just a financial disaster waiting to happen cause they do require maintenance and repairs on occasion.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get what you wish for with Alien - . I'm sure she's scared and lonely and hurting - but that is sure not the best time to be looking for a relationship - you're right that she needs to concentrate on getting her life in order first.
Sounds like she's gotten her house in order - at least for the moment. That had to be frightening....again, its probably different state to state, but how bad (or not bad) does a place need to be before the state considers it unfit for kids? Its one thing if a place looks like an episode of Hoarders....but if there isn't a health hazard it seems to me that the state has no business threatening mothers over inadequate housekeeping skills (Said as I look around and realize I have some serious vacuuming to do).
It's definitely a case of haves vs have-nots 'round these parts. No job, no home ownership, no car = too bad. Guess they're worried about keeping those tax paying homeowners and collecting property taxes? Who knows.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the home inspections, that can vary from social worker to social worker. Her original worker gave her thirty days to get the house in shape. Not two weeks later, a new case worker was assigned who gave her three days to clean the entire house. Oh, and it's typical to have an "entry" case worker until assigned a perminent case worker.
I haven't been in that house but once when Bubba first moved into it five or six years ago. It was a holy mess then with all the crap he'd bring home from the recycling center he works in, even the yard has a nice collection of crap. Yes, it's true, one man's trash is another's treasure - and I had only recently divorced the King of Hoarders (the primary reason for the divorce to begin with). DIL and Married Son would go visit from time to time and tell me that the house was only getting worse with the recycle crap. At one point there was only a path in each room. Bubba met some chicky-poo who ended up moving in and bless her little heart she got the house and yard somewhat cleaned.
Have only just caught up with all your blogs, I've been on holiday.
ReplyDeleteHope you will be able to stay positive with so much going on and that Alien will be OK. I'ts so hard as a parent when you know they are getting everything wrong but won't be told- then you have to try and help them put it right!
Helen Jo, that's the hardest part ... watching them mess up and staying positive (or at least trying to stay out of it). But she knows I'll only offer so much help. My resources are limited, as is my 50 year old patience for babies (I've officially turned into my father on that).
ReplyDeleteAdd that her father helped get her into this whole mess, then leaves her on her own ... he'll never be father of the year with that attitude (not that he ever would in a good year though).
She's my kid though, and it showed today. From what she said when she picked up Butterball only a few minutes ago, Bubba finally called her. She let him have it "with both barrels". Didn't spare him her wrath. Good girl! She's decided she's moving ... NEXT WEEK!! She's done with Bubba, and that whole side of her family. Loser's mother asked if she and the baby wanted to stay there while she sits out the possible waiting period for subsidized housing. Just to add to the drama, LOL, the momma refuses to see or talk to the Loser, it's been a long time since he's been welcome 'round there. So no worries there with Alien accidently running into the Loser.
And I thought my mother's and my cousin "Aunt Normal's" petty child-like bickering was disfunctional. Oy.
Does this not sound like a great story line for one of our American Soap Operas? Oy!
Lol, I'm sure with your family and mine we could produce a brilliant soap opera!!
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