My, my where does the week go?
Been busy here.
Monday Alien stopped by unannounced and asked if I could babysit so she could go to classes. She claims her phone doesn't work to dial out because the screen is broken, so that's why she didn't call first. I told her this one time, yes, but from now on no more last minute or unannounced bologna. She goes to class but she claims she wasn't feeling well and her teacher sent her home. I'm doubting that for some reason (could be because I've caught her lying to me before). So, she calls (hmmm, NOW her phone works) says she's on her way back here to get Butterball. Only she doesn't show up for another hour and a half. Gives me some B.S. line about something or other (can't recall now, but it was pure bull). I gave her an ear-full when she got here about responsibility, being a parent, making the right choices for her and her babies, how the Loser will jeopardize her custody of the children, how he's a loser and not welcome near my home ever again - that because of his abuse he'll never ever have my respect again.
Wednesday I was supposed to babysit Butterball again so she could go to class. She never showed up. Never called. Never nothing. I figure Loser is behind that "that nosey control freak mother of yours will never see us again". I've heard it before. Control freak. Yup, that's me alright. I keep my nose in her business to pressure him. I know how abusers isolate their victims.
Oops, I skipped Tuesday. Quiet day. DIL got home from work around 3 PM. Went right to cleaning the house. Who are you and what did you do with my DIL? I like this new chick. She vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the bathroom, helped me move some stuff around, took trash out, did dishes. We cooked our first family meal of the week - pigs in a blanket. We all contributed to the menu, my biscuit mix, her hot dogs, my fruit, her veggies. Just too bad that shortly after dinner the Nice Chick left and DIL returned. Loud, bitchy and just unpleasant as usual.
Wednesday also found us having our second (and LAST) family dinner. Pot roast, potatoes, carrots slow cooked all day long. The house smelled wonderful!! Homemade biscuits, too. I provided everything for this family dinner. Grandson had been a brat all day after he got home from school. Whinier than usual, and just wouldn't take no for an answer. He wanted a biscuit. Now ... I don't cook for him. He's too picky. I've tried to get him to eat a small bite of things (to where he's hit the fork away screaming "I said NO") - so my policy is, it's all or nothing (either eat some of everything I cook, or get nothing). I'm not catering to a spoiled little boy who says he wants a certain food to only spit it out after one taste. No way. No how. Ain't gonna happen. So ... anyway ... DIL gives him TWO biscuits anyway because it's a family dinner and he likes biscuits - but she excuses him from trying anything else. And of course, after mashing the last biscuit to death, he throws it away. I looked at him and told him he's wasteful. DIL just has to get her "He's only 5" comment in. WTH does he's only five have to do with this? But then, it's her favorite excuse for everything he does - or doesn't do.
Thursday wasn't bad for the most part. I made brats and sauerkraut. Stunk the house up pretty bad, but I did that on purpose. mybad. Chased my stressors out for a few hours, so it worked real well. They got home, they'd been arguing about her not doing something she should have done (as usual), DIL said something rather vicious, Married Son replies in kind. I decided this would be my perfect chance, so I told Son "she's only 28, Son". Stopped their fight mid-way through it, she stormed upstairs. Married Son had a hard time keeping his hysterical laughter from surfacing. I got the quiet I needed the rest of the night.
On the brighter side ... my kitchen sink shines (flylady reference, LOL), and I've been a crazy-lady with getting apps filled out online. The latest are for shift managers at a few gas stations, a grocery store, toy store (too bad that's only seasonal work - and have I lost my mind to want to work in a toy store over the holidays or am I that disparate for a job?) ... and a few other places, too. Keep your fingers crossed. I need something. Quick.
I'm running out of ideas on where I could hide some bodies.
I don't think you've lost your mind, any job - even a toy store in the holidays will give you the start that you need, trust me I did seasonal work (including Christmas Eve), looking back I must have been crazy- but surviving that meant I could survive anything!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the grandson, my stepson says his little boy won't eat - I just give him whatever we are having and he eats the lot. They will eat if they are hungry without any fussing, especially if you don't give in and give them what they like best!
Thats right - it is getting to be that time of year and as Helenje has said - even seasoal work will get you started and make it easier to find something permanent. You're right about not catering to the little one's pickiness...but soon enough hopefully his food habits won't be your problem anymore. You didn't ask, but I think Alien is taking advantage of you....and I'm glad you said no more of the last minute crap. And I LOVE your "she's only 28 comment". If those two don't have the sense to keep their disagreements to themselves then at least you can enjoy a bit of fun in the midst of the commotion. Crossing fingers that you get some callbacks.....
ReplyDeleteHelen Jo, I've worked in a few different greeting card companies during the holidays. Talk about "if I can survive that I can survive anything"! Nothing like a Hallmark store for the day after Christmas Sales ... customer were twenty deep and the full front of the store wide just waiting for the doors to open! I drew the short straw for being the unlucky sole to have to unlock the gates!! Three years running!!
ReplyDeleteI hold proud a long family tradition of "by gawd, I made it, you WILL eat it". Even Single Son, who would fight over eating fish would clean his plate on fish night. He would choke and gag. I thought he was only fighting me because he hated fish Turns out his fits were legit, he has a severe allergy to seafood and certain types of fresh water fish, too! Do I feel bad? Heck no!! Well, maybe a little!!
DILs problem is she caters to this boys every fit, whim, or whatever. Grinds my every nerve.
Em, LOL! I just had a thought ... my comment of "I'd shovel horse crap if they'd hire me" and yours and Helen Jo's comments of seasonal work getting my foot in the door ... I wonder if Santa would hire me to clean up after the Reindeer? He'd be close enough, too, that I could get that letter to him!! Seriously, though ... I'd love to even have temporary seasonal work, any paycheck will last me a while. I'm good at cheap. Really.
ReplyDeleteI've been suspecting I'm being used by Alien for a while, too. Silence is my denial of the whole situation. But, it does allow me the opportunity to keep tabs on Butterball to make sure he's being cared for properly.
You know when they fight in front of you that they're a little too comfortable in YOUR home. I've been adding to the "fights" the last two days by moving her stuff out of my bathroom drawers and into a temporary storage drawer system I've placed in the bathroom, taken back the refrigerator shelves she had kidnapped (and regulated their groceries to the crisper drawers, one half of the bottom shelf and ONE door shelf), and put their kitchen stuff (dishes, pots, pans and utensils) in boxes ... claiming that I, the "primary" tennant, have the first choice storage - they, the temporary residents not named on any lease, have secondary choice in storage.
Well, I happened to have had a visit with Santa yesterday (I still need to blog it - he's in town for some Monster convention), and I'll ask him when he gets back if he needs any help. Heck, if you're up to the cleaning up after critters bit - don't forget to check any of the local vet/kennels as well as whatever passes for animal control/shelters around your way.
ReplyDeleteYou're a bright woman (and a college graduate) and I've no doubt you can manage the balancing act necessary to keep track of Butterball without becoming the dumping ground. She's not in a good place I don't think, but they do have to learn on their own, darn it.
Love what you've done about reclaiming some of your space....
LOL, about visiting Santa. We have a family friend who not only looks like Santa, but is an actor in low-budget movies. Sal Lizard if you want to google him, LOL ... he's also big into these monster conventions, and happens to be the big guy (Commander) of the international Starfleet organization we belong to.
ReplyDeleteThe few animal clinics I did call are pretty much volunteer at the moment, unless you happen to have a degree for vet or zoo. I have neither, although I do have experience with wild animals ... oh wait, those aren't animals, they're ... they're ... dare I say ... my family? LOL!
Once Alien goes into her whole "I'm avoiding you Mummy" act, I have only the boys and DIL to rely on for information about what's going on over there. That's fine ... they probably get more information anyway. You know how much siblings talk (or observe) that the parent isn't privy to. So at least if I'm not getting my info first hand, I do have three reliable sets of eyes and ears to report back. And yes, they do drop in on her unexpectedly ... just for a "Mom re-con" mission.
And you're sooooo right about they have to learn on their own. I just pray that it doesn't cost her custody of her child(ren) in the learning process. Although, and I can't believe I'm actually going here .... maybe that's what it will take for her to wise up. Let the state place him in foster care. He'd be well looked after by someone who is able to do so (unlike me in this already overcrowded, and means limited crazy bin) while she works on getting her shit together once and for all. Tough love.
"He'd be well looked after by someone who is able to do so (unlike me in this already overcrowded, and means limited crazy bin) while she works on getting her shit together once and for all. Tough love. "
ReplyDeleteYou are so wise, Lisa.....as a mother, I understand how difficult it is to keep from trying to fix things....but in this case you're very right. I know every day is a struggle for you as it is.....and you do a great job of facing it with grace and a damn fine sense of humor.
She is your daughter after all - so I think when it comes down to it, if she's forced to make a choice -she's going to do what is necessary to keep her kid(s)...she's just not going to be proactive :).
Em, watch it!! My head may swell here ... wise ... wow, thanks! And grace in the face of challenges and a sense of humor to boot. You're too kind. Thanks!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously ... it's only a small part wisdom, and mostly it's the realization that this isn't my concern really. Yes, in a small way it is because she IS my daughter, and he IS my grandson, but at some point I have learned that (especially with the Alien) that I can only watch from the side-lines and PRAY that she doesn't fumble this one but good.
Funny thing is, I'd give up the few things I do own that have any real value to see her make the right choices ... under the condition that she keeps on a positive path for her and the baby (and the baby-to-be) ... hell, who am I kidding? I'd give everything I own ...
Motherhood, it's the toughest profession there is, that's for sure.