Saturday's Gossip, LOL

So, I finally changed my front page quote. Seems to go along with what I'm feeling lately, about humor ... check it out ... lol ...

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

Erma Bombeck.

What a great lady she was. I really do miss her.

So ... today's blog topic is brought to you courtesy of Bubba.

Alien received a snail mail letter on September 21, from her father, Bubba. So did everyone in his address book. Amazing fact that he even kept an address book, but that's really beside the point here (he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer).

Sooooo ... the letter ... it was mailed out so that it would arrive at its destination(s) on a certain day, the day being the above mentioned date. It was a general letter to all about how he and his honey had eloped on that very date (Sept 21). Yes, eloped!! I guess he didn't have the courage to tell anyone face to face that he and the Dragon Lady had eloped (dragon lady being Alien's name for her). From what I have heard, no one likes this woman, and I mean no one.

Eloped. Hmmmmmm. Dumbass.

Screwed up forever and always any chance of his daughter (or parents, siblings, etc) ever wanting him in their lives again. As Alien put it ... "after all he's done to me lately, the love he hasn't shown me, the way he's tossed me away like the weekly garbage, this latest stunt is the icing on the cake, Mom. He's forever dead to me. I know I said it before, but what he's done - by marrying a woman that forbids any contact with his own daughter - he's dead and buried."

To the point she's considering a legal name change ... to MY last name.

*****

I called Mom to tell her about Bubba. She knows my policy is "he's an ex and I really could care less about what he does now", but I know how she loves gossip and all. She tells me that Brother Deere had the *pleasure* of meeting this Dragon Lady ... sort of. Brother Deere works for the same government agency Bubba does, only they're in different divisions so Mom gets most of her Bubba gossip from Brother Deere.

Anyway, Brother Deere is at the recycling plant Bubba works at and Dragon Lady was there for some reason. Brother says he was sickened by the "adolescent behavior" they displayed in public ... necking and practically pawing at each other the entire time. Brother Deere was so put off he had to leave the area.

He doesn't know if it was because of the fact she's at least twenty years older than Bubba is (and homely according to Brother), or if it's because she was in a crisp white nurses uniform while he was wearing his garbage stained recycling brown uniform ... either way ... his stomach was turning at the display before him. He really wants to know where she works so he can avoid the office/clinic/hospital in which he's positive that sanitary white uniform is anything but sanitary!!

I can't say as I blame him there.

*****

I have yet to see the letter. I did ask Alien to bring it with her the next time I sit Butterball. For some odd reason, I'm really curious about the contents of this letter. As a rule, I really don't care about what my ex husbands are doing, they're exes for a reason. Out of my life ... or as my grandmother, Gigi, used to say "out of sight, out of mind".

Or he'd be out of my mind if he'd stop hurting MY daughter so much.

*****

Through all of it, I'm not thinking ill thoughts of him or Dragon Lady ... that's not my place to judge. They'll be judged by a much Higher Authority for what they've done to the people in their lives.

And besides ... Karma's a bitch.

Happy Un-Anniversary ...

Wow, 29 years ago today my first ex and I were saying our vows. Ten years later we were undoing them.

He taught me a lot in those ten years.

I learned to rely on no one but myself for any of my needs and for my children's needs. Yet, at the same time, I learned that I could rely on my family and certain friends to offer me support, and guidance.

I learned pain. Physical and mental abuse leaves pain, a lot of pain. The physical heals long before the mental injuries do.

I learned to read between the lines. What was the motivation for him suddenly being generous? A guilty conscience. Surely not to show his appreciation of me. For that he usually used his fists.

I learned that money doesn't buy happiness. I learned that I'll gladly give up wealth for certain poverty so that myself and my children can life safely and without fear of him coming home. Being broke all the time, living on the other side of the tracks and driving an old car do not mean that we can't live in a clean, healthy and loving environment. I learned to sacrifice for the kid's sake.

I learned to laugh. It's a hard road, but along the way there's been plenty of things to laugh about. And if there isn't ... create them!

I learned I am a strong person. I can overcome insurmountable odds. I'm not talking poverty. I'm talking overcoming abuse. Mental abuse. Being told you're dirt for so long, you start to believe it. Being called an idiot, ugly, fat ... and those were the nice names he called me! Yes, I am an idiot in that I stuck it out so long! I don't recommend anyone in an abusive situation to say that "yes, I'm an idiot for taking your shit" to him. It was the worst beating I ever got, but yeah, I did say it to his face. Ugly? I used to be pretty before you came along. I'll find it again in me after I've dumped your pathetic a$$. Fat? So freaking what? If it keeps the likes of you off of me all I have to say is ... where's the twinkies? I'm gonna pig out!

I learned to think for myself. This also includes learning to speak for myself. No one believes me when I say I used to be a shy girl. Very shy. I learned to open my mouth, to voice my opinion, and to be very outgoing.

I learned to let go. To let go of the fear, the pain, the anger, the hatred that had built up. I am not his judge, nor am I his jury. He will have his day of judgement, if not on earth, then after. I will, too. Will I be denied my place in Heaven because I could not let go and LET GOD ... Let God be his judge, his jury. I had to let go, to become the best person I could be.

I learned so much more, too. In spite of him. I think the most humbling of lessons was to realize you can still love your enemy. After all he'd done to me, I still loved him for the good he did bring into my life, and there were those good times, too. And who could hate him for those two beautiful, wonderful, loving sons he gave me. I also learned that I can still love and yet I could walk away from a dangerous situation. And in the process ... the biggest lesson of all was ...

LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE!

No matter what others say to you, don't listen to the negativity ... it's NOT true!

Thanks, Exie Poo #1 for all you taught me. Happy Un-Anniversary.