KUA

KUA

7/10/11

Fireworks ...

The fireworks, as usual, were spectacular. But I get ahead of myself here. LOL.



What a long day yesterday was! Got up at 5 AM so I could drive Single Son to his FedEx job and have the use of my car for the day. Funny, I came home and slept (so much for using the car, eh?). He was supposed to be off work at around 5 PM, but he got stuck with an additional route. They do this when another driver is on vacation, just double the route on another driver - usually the one whose area borders the vacationers area. Meaning Single Son had almost double the packages to deliver (200+ total). He didn't get off work until 7 PM!!

In the meantime, I was supposed to meet Cap in Lake Orion for dinner at 7! I called to say that Son was working overtime and (red flag #1) Cap actually was irritated. Guess he doesn't like changes in plans?

The fireworks were fantastic (I repeat myself), but the rest of the evening was a real eye opener for me.

Yes, he's a gentleman who opens doors, insists on paying for everything, sees that I'm having fun ... but this third "date" has him letting his guard down. And has me in "critical observation" mode. You know, watching and taking mental notes of everything I see and hear.

Single Son and I pulled into the police station parking lot just before 7:30 PM. Cap was there, and had been waiting for some time, he said. Son was supposed to have been there at 5 (oops) so he made a mad dash to the station to quickly change uniforms and start his shift. I tried to apologize for Son's hurry, but Cap interrupts me with an angry "that was rude, he should have introduced himself". Explaining did no good.

Oh, and when Cap got out of his car, he was wearing the same outfit he's worn each of the other times we've gone anywhere (red flag #2). I wouldn't really consider it a red flag (as in maybe it's the only nice outfit he owns), but there was a grease stain on the leg that he got when he dropped a piece of fish on his leg on Thursday. Telling me he hasn't even washed his damned clothes in probably a week. Not a way to impress a woman.

Red flag #3 came when he saw the claw marks on my arms from the kitten. "Any animal scratches me like that, and they'll find themselves in a burlap sack at the bottom of the lake". I laughed like it was a joke he was telling. He was serious!! Like hell I was gonna ask him if he wanted Kitty Purry.

Further conversation later in the evening discloses he has active "anger issues". Hell no! That's something I will not tolerate. Period. He'd gone to the restroom so I took advantage of the time alone and had a quicky ciggie - I try hard not to smoke around non-smokers. He "busted" me smoking (snuck around the crowd so I didn't see him coming) and gave me one of those harsh looks of disapproval. So much for saying he didn't care if I did or didn't smoke. Somehow this is what lead to the anger issue conversation.

Oh yeah, and then he starts trying to save my soul ... and that's when I remembered why we went our separate ways the last time (before it ever got to the dating stage) ... he tried to save my soul!! Look I appreciate that you have your beliefs, and I respect those beliefs. But do not try to choke your beliefs down my throat!! I have major issues with that, as you can see. LOL.

I won't even get into how he was so critical of everything ... "they need to fire the fireworks off quicker, there's too much space between them", "why aren't there vendors here, they're missing the opportunity to make profits" (the fireworks were rescheduled after the barge caught fire last week, the vendors were there then), "I need to sit on a bench, I hate sitting on the ground" (worst view of the fireworks ever, btw), "who mows the grass, they do a horrible job" ... and on and on. Grumpy Ol' Man. Geesh.

After the fireworks he asked if I wanted him to drive me home instead of my having to wait around for who knows how long until Son was off duty. No thanks, I'll hang around the cop shop. Nice chance to think about everything that happened earlier.

Son didn't get off work until 1 AM.

*****

I was telling Mom earlier how my "date" went. I told her each and every one of these red flags. "Well, if you want to break this off, how will you go about it?". Well, yeah, I'm definitely thinking this isn't the guy I want any type of close relationship with, but as far as casual friends go, we'll see how that works. And I'm probably gonna kick myself later for that.

She cracks me up ... Mom suggested to get him to keep his distance that I smoke in front of him - chain smoke, LOL, and smoke those smelly little cigar wrapped ciggies. And wear my grungiest jeans and t shirt and wear my wicca jewelry - "let him believe you're a wiccan". Oh, Mom doesn't know (nor would she understand) my "new age" beliefs, she believes the jewelry to be Halloween props. It's easier on me that way.




10 comments:

  1. Lisa - there's a bright spot in those red flags.....means you won't find yourself getting too attached to the man. Look at it as dating practice - just don't go anywhere with him that you can't get home if you need to - if things get bad. But I'm guessing that he likes things the way he likes them and there's not much room for spontaneous sh#t happens moments - the kind your life is full of.

    Na - you won't kick yourself unless you feel guilty about leading him on.....and as far as I can tell - you aren't. And don't listen to your mother - you'll be making yourself a "challenge" and he'll try twice as hard to change you.

    Just enjoy the experiences he invites you on if its something you enjoy doing - stay away from his family so you don't send the relationship signal.....and you probably don't want to sleep with him if you can avoid it....

    Oh, and on that subject - this is the reason for the three date rule ;)

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  2. Good idea with having an exit plan so to speak. I may just wait to do things with him until after Single Son is off work so I can use my car. Tell Cap I'll meet him wherever.

    You're right, I'm suspecting that he likes things one way, and that spontaneous is a concept foreign to him. And something that seems to run my life. LOL.

    I don't plan on leading him on!! Really! lol, but if he's the possessive type (something I haven't been able to ascertain yet), would my staying friends with him give him even a glimmer of hope that we could get into some type of real committed relationship? That's what's got me questioning things. But like I said, we'll see. If he does turn out to also be possessive, then I hit the highway and fast!

    You're right, my luck he'd consider Mom's suggestions as a challenge. But I tell ya, if it comes down to a smoke, I'm not gonna hide that. If I'm *feining" I'm gonna be honest and excuse myself and light one up. No more waiting til he wanders off and sneaking.

    LOL! Sleeping with him hadn't even crossed my mind yet. And it sure isn't gonna happen now. And quite honestly, things like anger issues, and clothes worn for a week straight without washing are a huge turn off!! Not to mention, in light of last night's discoveries, I don't want him getting any ideas that a relationship is possible!!

    Funny, I've dated guys that usually I can tell by the end of the first date if it's gonna work out or not. The vast majority don't go past the first date! I had never heard of the three date rule, but it's a damned good rule!!

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  3. Lisa - he's an adult.....so any "ideas" he gets are his own - you are NOT leading him on. But I guarantee you that eventually, if you decide you don't want to spend time with him.....he will accuse of leading him on. That doesn't make it true - its just a man ego thing. Him gfetting his hopes up is his own problem not yours.

    So don't "question" your hanging out with him any more/less than you would question hanging out with anyone else male or female. Just know that eventually there will come a time when he'll want more than you are up for.

    Enjoy the moments for what they are.......you deserve some good times....... Although I know it's tough - just relax....it is what it is. And as far as I'm concerned - if the thought of bumping uglies with him hasn't crossed your mind yet - he is NOT the man for you :).

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  4. Good point, Em ... very good point. IF there was any of that attraction it died quickly with the kiss in my front yard. The sparks just weren't there. Oh, I did say I don't kiss and tell, didn't I? LOL.

    True, too, that he's an adult. And for now I'll take it as just hanging out with someone, get out of the house and go do something fun. Keep my distance (physical especially), though. And should it come that we once again go our separate ways and he does accuse me of leading him on, oh well. It wouldn't be my fault that he can't distinguish the line between friendship and relationship.

    I just realized ... DIL got home from North Carolina on Friday. I haven't even mentioned any of the Wrecking Crew crap (and yes, she didn't miss a beat, back to normal before the car's engine had a chance to cool down).

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  5. Duuuude! I think Em's pretty much summed up my responses...

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  6. I love you Amy - not that there's anything wrong with that. Sorry to hijack your post, Lisa - but I am having a really crappy day full of feeling stupid.....so Amy's comment that she agreed with what I said has made me feel a million times smarter.......\

    Now, I just need to hear some more wrecking crew stuff to be reminded how lucky I am (hint hint).

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  7. Amy ... thanks. We know Em's a smart lady, as are you ... nice to know that I've got all this smartness on my side!! Love ya both!!

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  8. Em, I hate days like that! Don't worry 'bout hijacking posts (not that you did), really. It's almost as good as sitting 'round the table, chatting with friends. Almost.

    Okay, okay, hint taken, LOL. I'll be typing my little fingers away with a Wrecking Crew blog just for you!!

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  9. You have some great advice here.

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  10. I do!! I have some pretty wise friends!!

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