Happy March ...

Can't believe it's March already!! I'd say I'm ready for spring, but we haven't had enough of a winter here to complain about. Not that I'd complain, I love winter - REAL winters. I tire of the snow, but what we've had has melted so fast it's not bitch-worthy.

What is bitch-worthy is the freaking Wrecking Crew ... and Single Son. I'm so ticked I could spit nails!! For the last week I've been trying to get to the pharmacy to get my refills before I run out of my meds. Pharmacy closes at 7 pm. Single Son is rarely home before 6:45pm. Too late to even try to get to the Pharmacy.

DIL knows this ... and knows how important these meds are for my health. Every evening this week she sees that I am watching out the front window to see if Single Son is home yet and asks me "whatcha looking for?" and I say every time "a ride to the pharmacy" ... but has she ONCE said to me "Hey Mom, I know you need your meds. I'm home and not doing anything of any importance, may I take you to the Pharmacy" ... Hell NO!! Instead she goes to her parents house to hide out until it's Grandson's bedtime. She did say last night to me "I'd take you on Sunday but I have a birthday party we need to go to". Wow. That's awful big of her. NOT.

So ... tomorrow I get to take Single Son to work so I can use his van to get done the things I need to do ... like get meds and a much needed hair cut. I'd grocery shop, but I seem to have cobwebs in my wallet again this week.

Single Son is on my list 'cause of his whole mentality lately. Started with the gf's "arrival" and has escalated as the weeks pass. Okay, I know he's 32 and probably tired of living in Mom's basement ... but he has to realize that especially until I have a working car again that I NEED him to be available to me from time to time and not necessarily at HIS convenience either. Instead, he laughs and says "Relax Mom. Take a deep breath". Deep breathing is NOT going to get me up to the store. Or get my meds. Forget just getting out of the house for a break, that ain't gonna happen!!

He needs to fix what he broke. That being MY CAR!! I need it back for so many reasons.

*****

Not a whole lot else going on 'round here. Can't do a lot if you can't even get out of the house.

I wish the old mall up the street was still open (and not the abandoned ghost town it is now), at least I'd be able to walk to a store for food and such. And probably have a second job working retail. Ah well, those days are long gone.

*****

About my only excitement these days is Pinterest. So many craft projects (if I had money for supplies that is), and decorating ideas (post-empty nest), and recipes (yum), and so many other things to look forward to doing when I'm able to do them.

I guess the good thing about this whole PINning everything that I would like to do (or see, or buy, or make) is that it's actually motivating me to pack up all my unwanted and unused crap for a huge yard sale once the wrecking crew (and Single Son) are outta here. And I do mean huge. I've only partially gone through two rooms (my bedroom and the kitchen) and have three large boxes of crap already. How does one get so many sets of dishes is beyond me (three FULL sets, four if you include the ones I want to keep but had to store in the dishwasher because there's no room anywhere else for them). Problem is, I've had to STOP packing things up for now, no room to store any more boxes of "yard sale crap".

Oh, and Amy, I know your love for crockpot cooking ... I've pinned a whole bunch of crockpot recipes for you (see recipes - crockpot) ... well not exactly entirely for you ... I'm gonna be crockpotting too, once I get a bigger crockpot!!  ... lol.

Oh really??

My dad's computer crashed again, so he has Brother Deere take it to their computer geek. Dad gets impatient waiting for it to be returned so he orders a new computer!! Geek friend not only transfers the data from the old computer to the new, but he totally restores the old computer, too.

Dad offers me the old desktop, knowing I'm only using a laptop right now. I told him I'd love to have it and would then be able to give the laptop a much needed rest.

I'm telling Single Son all this (with DIL close by) and of course she pipes up "Good, we're buying Grandson a desktop for Christmas but I need a new computer. My laptop is toast. I just need the tower, I have the monitor and keyboard. When can you pick it up for me?"

Hello?

I guess DIL has this overwhelming sense of entitlement ... and it's pissing me off!!

You live here freaking free ... I sure don't count the toilet paper (or dish soap, laundry soap, paper towels and garbage bags) that I MAKE you "donate" for living here (since you consume the most of these products anyway, it's ONLY FAIR to buy what you use) ... and you think YOU are entitled to jack squat.

Did I ask if YOU wanted it? No ...
Do YOU work? Yes ...
Can you save part of YOUR paycheck to buy a computer? Probably ... if you didn't piddle your money away on useless crap you don't NEED.

I'm on my way shortly to the folks house to run some errands and do some chores for Mom. Dad really wants the old computer out of his condo, but I'm going to ask him to store it for me for a while longer. At least until after Married Son is home and I get to talk to him about this crap.

What, oh what, will I blog about when DIL is history?

I know ... my new sense of freedom ... my new job ... my life being so dull without the DIL complication.

I can't wait!!

Sunday Night ... Fight Night ...

Yup, fight night ... knock down, drag out fight ... I'm still shaking (makes it hard to type) and crying ...

Married Son and I ... It started when I did the dishes DIL had left in the sink (from last night) ... and afterwards I went to their room and told her "Say thank you mom" for doing the dishes you left in the sink since last night. DIL tries to tell me they were not her dishes ... so I inventoried the dishes I had washed (not a one of the mine or Single Son's) ... then Married Son starts with the "too damned bad you have to do something around here, like a few stinkin' dishes since I pay ALL the bills around here" (um, no he doesn't ... he pays $200 worth and WTH does that have to do with not cleaning up after yourselves). I ask him where else he could possibly live for that amount of money ... and that this was an OLD argument that I was tired of arguing. See, when he fights he's the type to bring the same ol' crap back up time and time again, even if it's a DEAD argument and not even related to the current topic.

Instead of arguing old arguments I left their room ... And then all hell broke loose!

Married Son comes barging into my room ... telling me that I'm lazy, worthless, expect to be supported for the rest of my life, can't find a job because I'm not looking, that two exes abandoned me because I'm fat and lazy. Could I get a word in edge-wise? Of course not! Yes, he tried to belittle me in the same way his father did, only this time it won't work ... but then again, back in those days I did not have had the courage to fight back. Sadly, the apple seems to have not fallen far from that tree.

I had to yell to be heard ... I told him that he was out of line, and I wanted him out of my room until he could calm down (the veins in his neck were throbbing). After telling me to shut up a few times (boy, did I flashback to the years of being abused by his father) ... I pointed at him and told him to GET OUT! He hit my hand - not hard, more like took a swing at me out of anger and lightly connected with my hand. No matter, it was a movement made out of anger ... something I do not tolerate!

That did it! I reached in my purse, grabbed my pepper spray, and turned back to him ... asking if he remembered the last time he showed me the temper to that extent ... he landed his ass in jail for ten days (and over Christmas no less). It was then DIL pipes in that IF I pepper spray him I will have to answer to her. Excuse me? Who the F is she to threaten me? And for the Queen of "Not My Job" to think she's entitled to so much as an opinion around here ... laughable.

What's sad, is that I do admit I've become lazy, in a way. Because I gave up - I couldn't keep up with their messes, and honestly I don't believe I should have to be the one who cleans up after them. The sofa is covered with their shit, my easy chair holds boxes of shit from DILs car ... the list goes on ...

But I AM the one who is lazy ... because their shit has taken over MY house. And I just stopped caring.

Married Son slammed my bedroom door so hard that it popped the door trim! He then stormed out of the house. Don't know where went, don't care. DIL is in their room, stewing, frantically texting back and forth with someone.

Single Son was in the shower the whole time. I knocked on the bathroom door, telling him I couldn't wait, I had to pee. "What's all the banging around, Mom" he asks. I told him Married Son and I were fighting "oh, that's nothing new". No shit Sherlock! I told Single Son the gist of the fight and that he swung at me, that he did connect because the contact area now hurts. Single Son went into cop mode (from behind the denim shower curtain no less, LOL) ... asking the same questions I'm sure he would ask of a domestic abuse complainant.

He's since taken off, too. I'm figuring to calm Married Son down ... Single Son is good at calming someone down without taking sides ... that's what makes him a damned good cop!

I've also come to the conclusion that they can go live with that *wonderful father* of his. The one who subjected the boys to years of abuse ... the one who tells his sons he left me (he didn't, but let him lie to his kids, I don't care). Let's see if he'll open his heart and home to the Wrecking Crew the way I did ...

But it's over. I'm done with the whole Wrecking Crew. I promise myself (and you) that once they're gone they will NEVER be allowed back for so much as one night sleep-over. Thus, the reason for this blog entry ... not so much to relay the events of this evening as to remind myself in the future (see tags: venting).

My Mom wants me to wait a few months before I do anything ... she's hoping I finally find work, and that the transportation situation with Single Son is resolved so that I can have my car back and be able work outside the home.

Can I wait possibly an extra month or two? Gawd, I hope so!

*****

I so need my weekend away next weekend. Ya'll can laugh because it's a Trekkie weekend. It's adult contact ... with mature adults (okay, so what we'll be running around town in our Star Trek costumes) ... and getting the hell away from the house, the Wrecking Crew and the stress.

I'm taking bets ... do I come home late Monday evening to a sink full of their dishes?

"Scotty, beam me up ... "

Excuse me while I vent ...

I think the heat, humidity and stresses from the last few days has caught up with us all ... and it's showing.

Married Son and I just got into a shouting match, big time. Damn fool thinks he's the head of household, barking orders and making judgement calls he's got no right making ... add that DIL is back to the "not me" shit ...

I'm so ready to move into a one bedroom apartment in an adults only complex. I never thought I'd be saying I wish I were 55 already and could move into a place that there's no way THEY could come to stay for more than a few hour short visit.

I'm so pissed I actually am in tears.

How dare he tell me he does everything around here, and I do nothing. Excuse me? Even if it were true, he has no place saying anything. This is not his home, it's mine.

Call me a lazy ass that does nothing. Hello? Everything I try to get done around here, his wrecking crew of three undoes shit faster than I can clean it. Two steps forward, fifteen back.

I told him to STFU and if he doesn't like it he knows where the door is. I didn't order that they move out. I know better, I know about the eviction process ... I told him if he doesn't like it he can leave ... yet he jumps across the table at me out of anger. Didn't touch me ... or attempt to, but I'll be damned if he's going to play that intimidation game his father played so fucking well. He best take all his shit with him this time, I'm NOT playing storage unit any freaking more.

And that's what he reminded me of ... his abusive father. Barking at me, and when I didn't bow down and say "Yes God" he totally blew up.

Poor Single Son came up from his room just a minute ago, asking me what I was doing about dinner ...I busted out crying, telling him I don't know. He hadn't heard the fight, so had no idea what the tears are about. We got to talking, or should I say I was bitching about it (yelling and bitching - venting to Single Son) and out of the corner of my eye, I see DIL in the next room, listening. GOOD! Let her hear what I'm saying!!

I told him basically what I've already typed above, PLUS ... when I (finally) do find a job, and I'm paying the bills once again, The Wrecking Crew is g.o.n.e. I'm tired of the disrespect, the control issues, the messes, and the noise. Done. Finished. The End.

I told Single Son that once the house belongs to the two of us again, to shoot me on sight if I ever agree to anyone else staying so much as overnight.

Aren't ya'll glad we have this time with the Wrecking Crew to blog? Better enjoy it now. I can't see the Occupation lasting much after the first of the year. Provided I'm not in jail for some domestic charges or the other.

I just need to vent ...

Aliens! Arrrrghhhhh

Alright, alright ... quit laughing ... ya'll predicted this.

And in a way I did, too. It all started with Bubba buying Alien that damned car. I told him NO, it was a bad idea and I told him why it was a bad idea. She's 16 freaking years old and doesn't need a damned car. But no ... jerk goes behind my back and buys her a damned car.

If she was more mature, more responsible, more experienced as a driver, and not so damned bull-headed that she's going to get her way all the time I might have approved of a damned car for her. But no, she falls far short of being a car owner in my book.

Then we have the problems she's had at the high school she's been going to. So far behind in credits that she didn't advance with the rest of her class. She wanted to attend the alternative high school. Okay, I gave into that - their program would allow her to graduate on time ...

Now ... she wants to DRIVE to school. Okay, I can see that since the only other way to get to school is a shuttle bus that picks students up at her old high school. BUT supposedly Bubba's insurance won't allow her to park that damned car here overnight.

She calls this afternoon (she's at his house for the holiday weekend) ... "Mom, we need to talk" ... oh shit I know where this is going ... that damned car!

"Since I can't park the car at your house overnight and I need to get to school, can I just live with Daddy during the week and every weekend come to your house"?

Oh hell no!! There's a reason why the courts awarded me physical custody. He's an idiot. Doesn't think, just does - often to the point where it endangers the Alien. Then add that his stupid ass, leach of an ex-girlfriend still lives with him and verbally abuses MY daughter ... there's not a chance in hell that she's going to live with him during the school year. Court ordered summer visitations are bad enough.

So looks to me like she'll be taking that shuttle bus or I drive if she pays my gas - her idea to transfer schools - she needs to learn responsibilities.

And we've talked about this for the last few years ... she has some wild bug up her behind that she's going to move out of my house at the first possible opportunity. She hates living here - hates this house - and I'm beginning to suspect resents ME because I say no!

Why can I see this will be back in court? The family courts here are so back-logged that unless there's danger to the child's well being they won't order a change in custody or residency. I guess they've had their fill of "I just wanna go live with my daddy because" issues.

And we all know that the grass ain't greener on the other side of the fence.

This is going to be a loooooong year!