But I'm getting over that, too.
They're adults, they're responsible for their actions. Not me ... and I'm done being their victim. I'm done with the verbal abuse, the immaturity, the whole drama someone thrives on.
Done. Finished. Not gonna cry no more (horrible English, I apologize!).
You should see the list of things I want or need to do around here. Things that I haven't been able to do in forever because of one wrecking crew or the other.
Odd thing about all the events lately ... one of Gizmo's ex-girl friends has been in touch with me. I always did like her, never did figure out why they broke up. Anyway, she's been a huge support. It's nice having someone who actually knows Gadget personally and has witnessed the behaviors I have experienced with her living here. Oh, this gal lived with Gadget and her husband for over a year.
Yes, husband. She's still married to KW. Living with Gizmo, and using KW for his insurance.
And Gizmo enables her.
He's an adult, there's nothing I can do about that. But I refuse to be a part of it. Even if it costs me my son. Which it will. He has already said that if I can't accept her he's out of my life as soon as they move. I'm coping with that for the most part. I pray he gets smart, but something tells me that won't happen anytime soon (if ever ... ex GF reminded me how many times in the last 15 years they've gotten back together ... four that she's aware of, three that I knew of).
I am not a puppet on a string. I will not allow another to manipulate me. Been there, done that ... I have two different sets of divorce on file to prove it. And I refuse to be a victim of the verbal abuse!!
*****
So ... I've been busy with job hunting online. Tomorrow Mom will let me borrow her van for a few days so I can do in-person job hunting.
Then there's all the activity (at least mental activity at this point) with planning for that long sought after Empty Nest.
You should see the lists I have going for what needs to be done and where.
There won't be a room that won't been touched. New flooring, new paint ... in every room!! It needs it, it's been seven years since any of the walls have been repainted.
Each room, as it's vacated, will be turned into MY space ... the bedroom Grandson occupied is already my office room ... where I'm comfortably sitting at this moment.
The Wrecking Crew's room will be my craft room. That room needs extensive remodeling. It literally needs to be gutted down to the wall studs and rebuilt. Brother Deere will be doing that work, it's a little over my abilities.
And on and on ... master bedroom, bathroom, living room, dining room, and family room. The kitchen only needs the walls and cabinets to be washed down and the cupboards reorganized.
I'll be taking before photos the day they move out ... but I'll warn you, these pictures won't be for the faint of heart. I'll keep updating as progress is made.
*****
The sun is shining ... it's a beautiful day!!
OMG Lisa have been reading backwards, you have a lot of crap going on! Hugs lovey!!!!
ReplyDeleteOne wonders how long before they want to come back if they go, didn't that happen before? Sigh.
My son is 22 and he pays $150 board a week, that's supposed to cover his food and electricity/share of internet etc. I will be putting it up in November to $200 a weeks. He knows that would only get him a room in a share house and he would still be up for food and utility bills, thank goodness he knows he has it good.. he's free to leave whenever but yeah he knows he has it good LOL.
I know the wages and cost of living are less than ours BUT your son and his "friend" are on a good deal if all they shell out for bills is $300 a month.
If you got the rooms fixed up you could have lodgers that paid more than that :)
You and Alien getting along is a good thing. Sounds like me and Emily, could I live with her again? Hell no! We get on great now tho haha
Your right they are adults and should be acting like adults and I feel for ya!!
((((LISA))))
Helen, I'm done ... finished!! Once they leave for the last time they're NOT coming back. If they fall on their face they can go begging their father for his assistance. After all, he and his new wife have that huge four bedroom house and plenty of land!!
ReplyDeleteI'd have loved to get $150 a week in board. Started out they were supposed to have paid me for room and board, that lasted like a few weeks (if that!).
Nope, they "done pissed me off", I'm done. Alien isn't allowed back in the house overnight because of the way she left, and I'll be damned if I make an exception for them!!
I can't be respected in MY OWN HOME ... then my home is a disrespect-free zone.
Oh, they may come to visit, but I'm already making plans to remove all of the beds, but mine. They see it didn't take long at all for me to convert Grandson's old room into a non-sleeping work space.
I obviously lost control of the house a while back, ain't gonna happen again.
Let them call me the psycho mother from hell ... it's MY way from now on!
Hey I'm with you its time they grew up! I want Andrew to move out because I want an empty nest yes but he needs to go for himself how the heck will he gain any life skills if he lives with mummy forever!
ReplyDeleteEmily could never ever live with us again. But that's mutual we still have that rule where we like to freakin sleep LOL
I cant believe that they are bitching about paying what they do pay and whatever agreement you have with your mum about the house is zip all to do with them!
Stand your ground! I understand where your coming from!