Sunday Night ... Fight Night ...

Yup, fight night ... knock down, drag out fight ... I'm still shaking (makes it hard to type) and crying ...

Married Son and I ... It started when I did the dishes DIL had left in the sink (from last night) ... and afterwards I went to their room and told her "Say thank you mom" for doing the dishes you left in the sink since last night. DIL tries to tell me they were not her dishes ... so I inventoried the dishes I had washed (not a one of the mine or Single Son's) ... then Married Son starts with the "too damned bad you have to do something around here, like a few stinkin' dishes since I pay ALL the bills around here" (um, no he doesn't ... he pays $200 worth and WTH does that have to do with not cleaning up after yourselves). I ask him where else he could possibly live for that amount of money ... and that this was an OLD argument that I was tired of arguing. See, when he fights he's the type to bring the same ol' crap back up time and time again, even if it's a DEAD argument and not even related to the current topic.

Instead of arguing old arguments I left their room ... And then all hell broke loose!

Married Son comes barging into my room ... telling me that I'm lazy, worthless, expect to be supported for the rest of my life, can't find a job because I'm not looking, that two exes abandoned me because I'm fat and lazy. Could I get a word in edge-wise? Of course not! Yes, he tried to belittle me in the same way his father did, only this time it won't work ... but then again, back in those days I did not have had the courage to fight back. Sadly, the apple seems to have not fallen far from that tree.

I had to yell to be heard ... I told him that he was out of line, and I wanted him out of my room until he could calm down (the veins in his neck were throbbing). After telling me to shut up a few times (boy, did I flashback to the years of being abused by his father) ... I pointed at him and told him to GET OUT! He hit my hand - not hard, more like took a swing at me out of anger and lightly connected with my hand. No matter, it was a movement made out of anger ... something I do not tolerate!

That did it! I reached in my purse, grabbed my pepper spray, and turned back to him ... asking if he remembered the last time he showed me the temper to that extent ... he landed his ass in jail for ten days (and over Christmas no less). It was then DIL pipes in that IF I pepper spray him I will have to answer to her. Excuse me? Who the F is she to threaten me? And for the Queen of "Not My Job" to think she's entitled to so much as an opinion around here ... laughable.

What's sad, is that I do admit I've become lazy, in a way. Because I gave up - I couldn't keep up with their messes, and honestly I don't believe I should have to be the one who cleans up after them. The sofa is covered with their shit, my easy chair holds boxes of shit from DILs car ... the list goes on ...

But I AM the one who is lazy ... because their shit has taken over MY house. And I just stopped caring.

Married Son slammed my bedroom door so hard that it popped the door trim! He then stormed out of the house. Don't know where went, don't care. DIL is in their room, stewing, frantically texting back and forth with someone.

Single Son was in the shower the whole time. I knocked on the bathroom door, telling him I couldn't wait, I had to pee. "What's all the banging around, Mom" he asks. I told him Married Son and I were fighting "oh, that's nothing new". No shit Sherlock! I told Single Son the gist of the fight and that he swung at me, that he did connect because the contact area now hurts. Single Son went into cop mode (from behind the denim shower curtain no less, LOL) ... asking the same questions I'm sure he would ask of a domestic abuse complainant.

He's since taken off, too. I'm figuring to calm Married Son down ... Single Son is good at calming someone down without taking sides ... that's what makes him a damned good cop!

I've also come to the conclusion that they can go live with that *wonderful father* of his. The one who subjected the boys to years of abuse ... the one who tells his sons he left me (he didn't, but let him lie to his kids, I don't care). Let's see if he'll open his heart and home to the Wrecking Crew the way I did ...

But it's over. I'm done with the whole Wrecking Crew. I promise myself (and you) that once they're gone they will NEVER be allowed back for so much as one night sleep-over. Thus, the reason for this blog entry ... not so much to relay the events of this evening as to remind myself in the future (see tags: venting).

My Mom wants me to wait a few months before I do anything ... she's hoping I finally find work, and that the transportation situation with Single Son is resolved so that I can have my car back and be able work outside the home.

Can I wait possibly an extra month or two? Gawd, I hope so!

*****

I so need my weekend away next weekend. Ya'll can laugh because it's a Trekkie weekend. It's adult contact ... with mature adults (okay, so what we'll be running around town in our Star Trek costumes) ... and getting the hell away from the house, the Wrecking Crew and the stress.

I'm taking bets ... do I come home late Monday evening to a sink full of their dishes?

"Scotty, beam me up ... "

Society of Grumpy Neighbor Ladies ...

This subject originated on facebook. It was started by Leann. She had confessed that she's now officially a Grumpy Neighbor Lady ... great topic Leann!

My membership in the SGNL started almost three decades ago when my kids were little and got to know the other kids in the 'hood. Because my kids are now grown ... I've "graduated" to becoming a member of the Society of Grumpy OLD Ladies. I am proud of my membership!

My rules were rather simple when my kids were small. But there were two sets of rules. One for the kids whose parents I didn't know, and the other for the kids whose parents I did know.

The biggest difference in those rules were that IF I didn't know your parents, you were not allowed in the house (not even to use my bathroom! Go home to pee, kiddo). Good thing for them it was a rather small neighborhood, or there'd have been a lot of "accidents". LOL. In the end, I knew most of the parents ... but there was always one or two in any of the neighborhoods where we lived who were too LAZY to accept my invitation to get to know them. Those kids never ever entered my home!

I was always big on The Golden Rule ... treat others as you want to be treated. Of course, with the little ones you had to be more specific ... don't hurt others, don't hurt their feelings, play nicely, play fair, clean up after yourselves, respect the furniture, etc.

I also had rules for lunch or dinner "guests" ... IF you want little Susie down the street to have dinner over, I NEED 24 hour notice ... if you want a sleepover with your friends, again, I need 24 hour notice. Same if you wanted to sleep at their house, or eat dinner with their family. None of this last minute crap for this Grumpy Ol' Mum.

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Make rules, and keep them and you control the situation. Lax and you lose all control.

And I think that's happened with me. I've lost control of my kids (well, the Wrecking Crew really). Or ... they think that as adults they don't have to follow MY rules anymore. Okay, some of the rules have changed a bit because they supposedly know better (play nice, play fair, don't hurt others, etc) but most rules have not changed ... clean up after yourselves, respect the furniture, etc ...

But when it comes to the Wrecking Crew ... I've lost control.

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As far as the neighbor kids today ... yup, I definitely have that Grump thing under control. One set of neighbors (the Barky Dog neighbors) I often have to tell the kids to GO HOME ... or to point their golf clubs away from our vehicles (no garage here to park and protect our vehicles in) ... sad thing about the golf clubs is that their Dad is often the one driving REAL golf balls in the direction of our vehicles. Hullo Dumbass!!

I have to tell the six kids in the house on the other side of me to not ride their bikes on the grass, or stop bouncing the basket ball on the trailer in the driveway. Don't climb on the trailer, don't this ... don't that.

But I have no qualms to tell them DON'T do that ... hell, if they hurt themselves, I'm not entirely sure that the parents wouldn't sue me for their injuries.

They pretty much leave my property alone now ... they know I'll say something ...

They really are good kids, though (the family with six kids that is). Polite, pleasant. One of them was blocking the driveway when I pulled in one day (he's about four or five years old) and when he realized I was turning as soon as he moved out of the way ... he came up to me and apologized for being in the way! And no one around to tell him to apologize! Then he gave me a big hug!

We do have some fun together, the family of six that is (no way will I include the Barky Dogs in this) ... like running under the sprinklers on a hot day ... or sitting under the tree and making twig figures (the three girls really LOVE this!) ... or all playing together when Alien brings the boys over on a warm afternoon.

So, I'm not entirely Grumpy.

*****

Now if I could get Mr. Barky Dog to stop nicking up my vehicles.

More Memorial Monday ...

I didn't make it to the Memorial Day Parade. Because of the heat and humidity, I woke up with a migraine that I couldn't shake. I decided that being out in the sun probably wasn't the best thing for me today. So, I missed out on taking pics, but Single Son said they ended up having two other cop family members show up that took large amounts of pictures. It's all good.

Hopefully this headache ends soon. Now I remember why I hate the heat ... it gives me a massive headache.

I know, I'm soooo delicate.

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Daddy has been in the hospital since late Friday evening. He fell at home, complained of feeling really weak, so Mom called 911 and the EMTs took him to the hospital. Turns out it's a UTI that caused his weakness. I managed to get my headache to dull a bit (yay tylenol), and took off to the hospital for a brief visit. He's looking better today, minus the huge bruises all over his hands and arms (he's on the blood thinner coumadin and even a band-aid being pulled off of him can cause excessive bruising). He should be coming home within the next few days.

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So ... thanks to Em, I have a new addiction. Angry Birds! For the PC.

A friend of mine ("B") showed it to me on her cell, it was okay - but hard for me to see it real clearly. But on a PC ... man I can see the freaking birds. Plus, I think I do better with a mouse than a touch-screen.  I'm only on level twelve (and had to do most of 'em a few times), but I'm getting the hang of the game.

Thanks Em. Thanks a lot. Haha.

Memorial Weekend.

It's been one long week here in Squirrelville ... or is that Trekland? Either way, it's been a long one, and it ain't over yet!!

I've been trying so hard to become a day person again. Not going too bad (minus the dark bags under my eyes - who am I kidding? They're trunks!!). Last night was rough, Barky Dog was out ALL NIGHT LONG doing what Barky Dog does best. I even got dressed (I should have stayed in my nightie, traumatize the lot of 'em) ... but when I pounded on their door, there was no answer. How dare they leave for a night or two and leave that damned Barky Dog outside. Can't call the cops (or can I?) because they left food and water for the freaking thing. Just wait until they get home, they'll get a WTF-inconsiderate maneuver was THAT?

Ya, I'm fed up. Momma's on the warpath!

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So, no big Memorial Day plans here ... other than being at the Police Department early early early on Monday so I can once again play "official" parade photographer for them. Lucky me, eh? And I do mean early!! Single Son is on patrol that day ... he's got to be there at 5 AM. We share a car (grrrrr), so I get to get up before the sun comes up and hang around the Cop Shop for a few hours before Parade time. I told him he owes me a Sausage Egg McMuffin with Cheese for this!!

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Speaking of Single Son, LOL, he's getting as excited as I am that there will be three less bodies around here soon. We've even sneaked in conversations about how we can not only finish the decorating that was postponed after the Wrecking Crew invasion, but how we can set up the rooms they now use so that in the future there will be NO ROOM AT THE INN for Wrecking Crews or Alien Invasions!

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I found out a little more about our trip in a few weeks to Escanaba. It's "only" an eight hour drive (that's with no stops, lol) ... but with Single Son being one of those that has to stop every few hours to stretch his legs, it'll end up a twelve hour drive anyway.

I googled the address of where we're going. Get this! It's five blocks ... F.I.V.E. blocks ... from a  lighthouse!! Sand Point Lighthouse.

I was so excited to tell Single Son there's a lighthouse sooooo close to our Star Trek "away mission" location. "We won't have time, Mom" he says. Bull-pucky! We'll make the time! Then he say's "fine, we'll go but when you have your heart attack from climbing the stairs, make sure it's near the bottom, not the top. I'm NOT carrying your ass down all those stairs."

Nice kid, eh?

And this was after he points out how gray my hair is ... think he's telling me I'm getting old?

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Oh, remember the whole Daddy's wedding band thing? I finally got clarification from Mom as to what her plans are. As soon as Daddy is "done wearing it", it'll be mine. After a trip to the jewelers that is. She'll have it made into a necklace for me.

Sort of like this ...

 

But in white gold, and with my initials instead of the pearl.

She also told me that it was Daddy's idea in the first place. He saw the idea online and fell in love with turning his wedding band into a family heirloom!

It'll be beautiful! But it's something I can hold off possessing for a long time!!

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So, I'm done babysitting JJ. Their class is over. I'm bummed in a way ... I did enjoy the four hours a week bonding with him. BUT ... the last two times with him proved to be stressful on ol' Gramma here. I'm too old for teething, crying, grumpy babies!! And now, too, we can get back to I can spend time with Alien and both babies on occasion. There was absolutely NO Butterball time with them taking him with them to class for the social time (parents in relationship class, kiddies over 1 year of age in social skills "class").

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Stay safe and enjoy your Memorial Day weekend. Remember our Fallen Heroes, and thank a Vet for their Service!!

Monday Musings ...

Who'da thunk (as Bubba would say) that I'd post two blogs in two days? And I can finally call it Monday Musings!! Haha!

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Wrecking Crew update. Married Son and DIL went today to look at a semi-truck that he wants to buy. Meaning he's giving serious thought to getting back on the road doing long haul driving. Which would mean buh-bye DIL ... she's NOT living here if he's on the road for weeks on end.

Oh, DIL has a new "trick" ... if you want to call it that. She's taken to saying "that's mine" or "that's Married Son's" if it's something she wants that doesn't belong to her. Case in point, a Paul Rogers CD that I purchased at one of his concerts many years ago. Autographed. I found it laying in their room, and said "ahah, I've been looking for that". Of course she says it's Married Son's, to which, when I told her no it's mine (and I could prove it since the concert ticket stub is in my scrap book!!) she accuses me of making things up to benefit me. Oy. Son walked into the room not a minute later, and I (still holding the cd) said jokingly "so, thought you could steal it from me, eh?" "You busted me. I was gonna give it back. Eventually".

Tell me it's yours. That's theft if you ask me. I mentioned it to Married Son when she left the room. He said she's tried that over at her parents house, too.

I guess I'm going to have to supervise very closely when they (she really) packs to finally move out. Not that I have a lot she'd want, but it's the principle of the thing.

*****

Ow! It hurts to type! I managed to about pull off my index finger nail today -putting my bra on of all things. One of the hooks managed to snag under the fingernail and before I knew it, the pain was intense.

***** STAR TREK ALERT *****

Membership has it's privileges! LOL. I've been invited to join an "away mission" in June to commission a new ship into StarFleet. In non-geek terms, we have a new chapter that we're going to visit for their dedication ceremony.

I'm excited. It's the first time I've gotten away since my mini-trip to Chicago a few years ago to meet Helen Jane! The trip isn't until June 11th, but I've already sat down and figured out my packing list. Pretty sad, eh? And ... don't fret ... I'll be bringing my laptop and digital camera so ya'll can join in on the fun. Don't you feel special? Hehe.

Single Son, who is the MC for the ceremony, and I will be driving up to Escanaba, Michigan for a weekend. It's a twelve hour drive from the Detroit area. I'm not sure of a lot of the details yet, as he's making most of the plans (when we leave, our hotel accommodations, and the such).
Should be lots of fun!

*****

Hoping ya'll are having a good week!!

Sunday Musings ...

Monday musings would sound better, but I'm not waiting 'til Monday to vent. I'd probably explode. Or melt.

Yup, the Wrecking Crew is at it again. I've blown my fuse over ... a blown fuse of all things!! It's HOT and miserable here, and as usual with the Michigan heat comes the Michigan humidity.

Gawd I hate summer-like weather.

Anyway, spring and summer in my house also mean a lot of blown fuses. Yes, we're still running on outdated fuses (Brother Deere was supposed to update by installing a circuit box years ago, but that's a different blog topic). And I do mean A LOT of fuses. Mostly in my room (go figure). You'd think we would have extra fuses around, wouldn't you? Well, supposedly Married Son, back in his salvage days found a bunch of fuses - and saved them knowing what happens around here in the summer heat.

Only, DIL threw them away. But did she tell us this? Not for three hours after the fuse that covers 1/2 of my bedroom, part of the basement and the bathroom blew!! Yup, that's one half of my room. This house is an electrician's nightmare - my room alone is hooked up to four different electrical fuses alone. I can tell which fuse is blown, and what rooms are dark just by what isn't working in my room anymore. Anyway ...

Heaven help it was her bedroom that blew a fuse. It'd be fixed almost immediately, you can bet. But no ... if it concerns Mom in any way, shape or form it'll wait.

So, I got even!! I lit a candle and headed for the bathroom, a cool soak in the tub would help, since I can't sit in front of the window fan in my room to cool off. I hear DIL ask Married Son "how long is she going to be in the bathroom? I have to use it". I yell out "I'll be here until my room is electrified once again".

I also commented that if it was their room it'd have been fixed immediately. Loud enough for them to hear through the closed bathroom door. That sure didn't go over well with the DIL. Too freaking bad!!

Married Son, needless to say, headed up to the store to get fuses. Fuses that should have been in "inventory" in the cabinet in the utility room.

Or would have been had *someone* not taken it upon herself to throw out for whatever reason.

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The brakes on my car need work, so the car is parked while Married Son works on it this weekend. It's been a test of his mechanical skills, the part he's having trouble with keeps breaking his tools (some bolt or something that he broke when he removed it but can't get the replacement bolt back on now)!! Let's hope he gets if fixed before tomorrow when we're expecting thunderstorms.

Until then, I'm without a car again ...

Yesterday he took me up to the store, giving us a chance to talk freely (without the DIL around). He's sick of all the crap, too ... and is once again talking about divorcing her. I've heard it before, so I'm not going to hold my breath. He does know that if he wants to stay in this house past September it's got to be without her ... this was told to him by my mother (remember I rent from her) ... otherwise the Wrecking Crew is out ... out ... out ...

Let's see if I can last until one of the two happens.

If not, I hope they have a wireless internet connection in the Looney Bin.

*****

Married Son has been gone for about forty five minutes now. DIL is livid! She has things she needs him to do (things she should be doing by herself so he can work on other things - like my car) ... but no ... if it doesn't directly benefit HER she's not going to do it (like sort his laundry or go through a box of his old papers he asked her to sort).

While she waits, she could at least be doing the sink full of dishes she's ignored for three days. And no, I'm NOT going to do them this time. I learned to take the dishpan out of the sink - with her dirty three day old crap in it - and do my dishes, then put the dirty dishpan back for her to wash. Eventually.

I did talk to Married Son about her doing their dishes ... we'll see what happens ... (not holding my breath)

Instead ... well, the dishes sit ... she's chattering on the phone to gawd only knows who ... and bitching about how her life sucks.

Poor baby!!

More Musings ...

So originally I was going to blog about the typical Wrecking Crew antics … and I may later, if I’m not plum wore out by the end of this blog.

Gotta love social networking. It’s where I found out that Alien was pregnant with Butterball some two years ago (myspace). Then the other day on facebook I read she’s married?

Our private message:

me: ya and by the time i got to the phone you'd hung up ... what's this with your status update saying you and him are married ... did you elope?

Alien: Kinda

me: how do you kinda get married?

Alien: the Court house. Lol

me: when?

Alien: May 4th

me: ad you were gonna tell me WHEN?

Alien: After the fear of you killing me disappeared.

me: kill you? and get to raise your two kids? no thanks ... i'm out of the baby raising business ... tyvm

Although, I sorta had to laugh. She had changed her status to “married” and there were a few congratulatory comments from friends … but then Bubba replied with something like “what a way to find out” … considering HE eloped with his girlfriend and sent letters out snail mail only AFTER his wedding, he has little (if any) room to talk. I love Aliens response … “I still have the letter you and (witchy-poo) sent out” … her way of saying screw you daddy dear, you have no room to talk.

However, her sharp tongued response to Bubba does NOT change the fact that she screwed up, once again … ya, this fella is a step above Loser, but only a step or two. At least he doesn’t hurt her, and although his patience is very short with an active toddler, he hasn’t harmed the children. And I do have to say, I do open my mouth every chance I get to correct him when I see less than desirable things he does (swinging Butterball over his head, holding his body and spinning around in circles – just the fear on the kids face should tell him that this isn’t what he should be doing with a small human being). I guess we can blame this on the way he was raised, he doesn’t know better.

I have made it MY duty to teach him, but ONLY because I’m concerned for the safety of my grandbabies. Alien speaks up, but he doesn’t listen. He sure listens to me, though!!

And I said I wasn’t going to get involved. Ha. We see how long that lasted!! But there’s still no way I’m going to go back on my promise to myself (and ya’ll) to refrain from helping them out financially – or in many other ways.

I do babysit JJ while they go to parenting and couples classes. Of course, I do get paid for it. By the agency that offers the program. Got my first check today … finally! It only took eight weeks.  There will be one more check issued at the end of this program – another seven weeks that they’ll pay me five bucks an hour (at four hours each class).

Funny, Alien has asked me more than a few times to babysit both boys so she and the hubby can go socialize. Nope. I won’t do it. No one babysat for ME so I could go hang with my friends, and I’m not about to start doing it for her. She wants to hang with the friends, she can take the babies with her.

It’s one thing if it’s for a class that’s mandated by the state in order for her to keep her children – and her state benefits (and that they pay me is welcomed, too), but for her social life, or to go shopping (he can stay home and watch ‘em or they can take them to the store).

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The Wrecking Crew …

Okay, so I have the strength to blog further, lol.

Things haven’t changed … like we really thought they would? I’m still fighting about the dishes, the messes, the crap that I’ve blogged about before. The couch I can’t use (or the easy chair now) because it’s a surface that can store THEIR shit. Boxes and boxes of it.

Grandson’s sixth birthday was earlier this month. They bought him his own t.v. set. And his Uncle Single Son bought him a dvd player. Problem is, he needs to be outside in this warm weather and NOT sitting in front of the boob-tube. Only – she still won’t let him go out to play without supervision. She needs to get off her arse and go supervise then!! The room also needs curtains (bad reflection in the morning of light coming off the house next door) … she tells me the other day that the room needs curtains … I give her the guidelines (there’s a rod in there, but she took the curtains that were in there down), and of course she says she’s going to replace it with a different rod (meaning still more screw holes in the walls). No, that’s a good rod, it stays. Buy the appropriate curtains. Or the window remains uncovered! Period.

But we know how she fights the whole “my house, my say (not yours)” thing.

As I suspected, now that Single Son is working, Married Son is finding excuses to not pay his share of the bills. Excuse me? Where the hell can you live for $300 a month? Nowhere else but Mommy’s house!! But if this continues I’m definitely going to the courthouse to get official – legal - eviction papers. This is crap. Pure and simple.

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K, enough … my headache is back. Off for a refreshing shower (it’s too hot and humid for me), then there’s a bunch of stuff I need to do for our StarFleet meeting tomorrow evening.