What Not to Say to a Policeman
-- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
-- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was driving.
-- Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!
-- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
-- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
-- You look just like my girlfriend's deadbeat ex-husband.
-- The question is -- do YOU know why you pulled me over?
-- I was trying to keep up with traffic, and it's miles ahead of me.
-- If you have to ask if I've been drinking, I'm not going to tell you, dude.
-- It wasn't my fault -- when I reached down to roll this joint, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged under the brake pedal.
-- That's a sweet 9mm. You want to hold my .44 magnum?
-- If I'd known I was getting a full body cavity search, I would have waxed!
-- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was driving.
-- Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!
-- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
-- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
-- You look just like my girlfriend's deadbeat ex-husband.
-- The question is -- do YOU know why you pulled me over?
-- I was trying to keep up with traffic, and it's miles ahead of me.
-- If you have to ask if I've been drinking, I'm not going to tell you, dude.
-- It wasn't my fault -- when I reached down to roll this joint, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged under the brake pedal.
-- That's a sweet 9mm. You want to hold my .44 magnum?
-- If I'd known I was getting a full body cavity search, I would have waxed!
: )
ReplyDeletebtw--sorry for not getting back to you about my elsies' attic stuff...i got it super-quick but haven't opened it yet (i have faith in you!)...it's sitting aside until closer to mother's day....
This is my favorite one only because I think someone would be stupid enough to say it.
ReplyDeleteAmy, it's okay!! I was just sort of curious ... I've never seen those products in person and was curious about them!! I'll wait. Don't wanna spoil your Mom's Mother's Day surprise!!
ReplyDeleteElphabathewicked, I love it, too!! One of my faves. My son is a cop ... he's heard 'em all. I wanted to ask him what his favorite excuse was but he was called into the department early today because of our horrendous weather up in these parts. Hopefully I'll remember to ask him later!
ReplyDeleteTee hee hee...
ReplyDelete